Trying Not to Murder Him
by BluBooThalassophile
Summary: THE 2ND OF MY 'TRYING NOT TO' SERIES! She's fed up, she's done, there's nothing stopping her since he doesn't care. Instead of murdering him she filed for divorce. Now she's rid of him, but she still loves him. Her only quest now is not to murder him for not leaving her alone any more. How is it she sees more of him now than when they were married?
1. Chapter 1

**This is the second installment to my Trying Not to series. If you would like to read the first it's called Trying Not to Love Him, it's a Sesshomaru and Rin story.  
**

**Another note is this is my easy write, very little effort is required of me to write this but I'm having fun with it.**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him!**

* * *

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 1**

Was it too much to ask to be loved in return?

Sighing Ayame looked down at the documents she had asked for. Signing this meant she would be free of him, it also meant she could move on. But would it make her stop loving him? Probably not, but this was getting a tad bit too extreme, even for her.

In the two and a half years of their marriage they hadn't even lived in the same apartment. True he had come around occasionally, and she had tried to seduce him, and had even gone as far as to wear sexy lingerie but it hadn't worked. He simply didn't acknowledge her existence despite their marriage. But, given it had been an arranged marriage meant to unify their packs, she still hoped he'd at least try to love her. She loved him since they had been cubs, before the whole engagement had even started. Ayame glanced at the papers again then sighed.

What the hell.

Quickly she scrawled out her name on the line, slipped it into the envelope, then walked down to the mailbox to mail it to the lawyer so he could give it to him. Her husband would probably be thrilled for her to be sending him those papers since he'd be off the hook. God knew he hated commitment when it was required of him. He loved to be dedicated to something; a cause in particular but actually being committed? She was relatively certain he didn't even understand what commitment was. At least he hadn't cheated on her; to her knowledge. Walking back into her apartment she looked around, she wanted a friend right now.

Kagome was unavailable and Sango was at work. Snatching up her coat and keys she walked outside again, got in her car and drove to the only person she knew would be able to understand this pain. Pulling up to the huge mansion of a house, she got out of the car and walked to the door and knocked. Ayame fought back her tears, then the door was opened. A set of bright happy brown eyes looked up at her.

"Hey Ayame," Rin greeted, holding her silver daughter; Tsukiko in her arms. Ayame broke then, the tears just came flowing out as she stood in the doorway sobbing. Rin guided her into the house, dogs followed them to the kitchen where Rin helped her into a chair at the dining table.

"Would you like to hold Yuichi?" Ayame nodded as she tried to fight her sobs back, Rin put her daughter in the car seat on the table then disappeared. Gently she touched the soft baby's cheek, the pup looked at her with wide solemn blue eyes. It was a look Ayame associated with the pup's father; Sesshomaru. Rin reappeared holding the black haired pup and handed him to Ayame. She'd never try to hold Tsukiko since the pup screamed bloody murder when someone who was not her father, mother, brother, or Ah-Un tried to hold her. Ayame looked into the serious amber eyes of Yuichi as she held him. Tears were still slipping through her eyes but again Rin's pups had worked their magic of calming those around them.

"You want to talk about it?" Rin asked, Ayame released a shaky breath. "I filed for divorce," she sighed out, Rin nodded sympathetically.

"I just didn't think it'd hurt this much! We hardly know each other anymore, but it had just about killed me to sign those papers, to know I was signing away everything! Grandfather's going to hate me," Ayame hugged the pup in her arms as she stared at the table.

She hadn't even thought about her pack was going to take this, they'd hate her for severing their alliance with the Eastern Wolf Tribe. Burying her nose in the black hair of Yuichi she stared at the ground, how could she be so stupid!? Seriously! Her tribe, her pack, her grandfather they were all going to hate her all because she had filed for divorce!

"Nonsense," Rin said as she leaned back holding Tsukiko.

Green eyes dared to look at her friend. "If they love you then they should be understanding. Just because you're getting divorced doesn't mean they'll hate you, and if they did then they aren't worth your time." She stared at her friend, how was it Rin had all the answers being younger than her?

"But if they do…" Ayame trailed off feeling tears well up in her eyes.

"They won't." Rin assured, laying a comforting hand on her distressed friend's shoulder. "You've told me you're pretty close to your grandfather, try talking to him. Try to make him understand why you did this. Perhaps this will be a good thing. You can go looking for someone else who will love you, and your family shouldn't fault you for trying to be happy," Rin explained.

"How did you do it? Kagome said the Taisho's weren't happy when they found out about you two," Ayame hadn't been involved in the actual fight but she had heard plenty from Kagome about it. Apparently Rin had made the mighty Taisho's look like royal assholes and opened the door for them to leave.

"Well, they love me, and once they got over the initial shock of Sesshomaru liking someone, they were thrilled to have me in the family. Having these two helped," Rin giggled, Ayame smiled weakly. Yuichi and Tsukiko were easy to love, though it was clear they mostly took after their father in their attitudes. But they still had their mother's loveable nature. Ayame loved these two like they were her family and they weren't even related; but she was their 'aunt' and loved spoiling them.

"But they're alright with you two?" Ayame asked uncertainly.

"Little skeptical but yeah, they're alright with us." Rin chirped. "That's good," Ayame murmured as she held the pup.

True she was an ookami and she was by no means, friends with inuyōkai but she had a soft spot for Rin and Sesshomaru. Though she wasn't going to admit that to Sesshomaru, he was just canine enough to figure out a way to use her fondness of his pack against her. Still she loved being a part of Rin's family, and Rin had made it clear she was family. Ayame looked down at the pup in her arms who was looking up at her with wide amber eyes.

"Can I still come around?" Ayame asked, she needed to know she had at least one family to come to when she needed someone to rely on. Just in case her grandfather banished her.

Rin smiled, "Absolutely! Yuichi and Tsukiko love their aunt Ayame," Just then Yuichi showed her one of his rare smiles and she melted. Why did these pups have to be so damn cute!? Sadly they took after their father and rarely expressed any emotion; even though they were only a few months old. Ayame grinned at the pup who was smiling at her.

"They're absolutely precocious." Rin beamed at the compliment. "Are you and Sesshomaru going to have more?" Ayame asked.

"I don't know, these two were an accident," Rin explained, Ayame frowned. She doubted the mighty Sesshomaru Taisho did anything by accident. Rin blushed and looked down at her hands. "I want more." Rin whispered as she twiddled with her thumbs.

"I can see the appeal, these two are adorable!" Ayame cried as she began to croon at the baby.

"They are," Rin chucked as she watched her friend in amusement.

Ayame was shocked when she was invited to stay for the day. She decided to enjoy it as she got to spoil the pups. She wanted her own cubs but wasn't going to dwell too hard on her wants as she had just severed ties with Koga. Rin had a way to make the whole mothering thing look easy, something Ayame didn't get since she had just about dropped Yuichi when he started howling for food. Since Tsukiko was sound asleep she and Rin had swapped pups so Yuichi could be fed.

Ayame marveled at the beauty and perfection in the hanyou pups. It was very clear that when these two got older, they would be crushing a lot of hearts. Smiling to herself she traced Tsukiko's crescent moon, Rin was so lucky. She was loved, she had pups, she had a mate and she had a pack; all of whom adored her. It was obvious how loved Rin was, Ayame figured it was hard not to love Rin but at this moment she envied her friend.

Rin had everything Ayame had wanted since she had been a pup. Love, loyalty, a family, a pack, a mate, cubs, and happiness. Ayame hated herself for becoming that woman but it seemed unavoidable. Even as she enjoyed the day and left to return to her apartment she envied Rin and Rin's happiness.

* * *

Koga was laughing at a joke as he walked out of the house to fetch the mail. A small man appeared before him then.

"Are you Koga Ookami?" The man asked.

"Yea," Koga said reluctantly, for some reason the man was now holding up a giant vanilla envelope. "These are for you," The envelope was shoved into his hands then the man disappeared.

Koga stood there dumbfounded as he looked at the vanilla envelope, did he really want to open it and discover what was in it? Picking up his mail he walked into his house, tossed the mail on the counter then eyed the envelope again. He did not want to open it. That was final. Firm in his resolve not to open the cursed thing, he walked to the fridge and pulled out a beer for himself. Walking past the counter he stopped to look at the envelope again before disappearing into his garage.

There he flipped on the stereo, blaring some old rock-n-roll for his entertainment; and began fixing up his baby. Working steadily on the motorcycle he decided this was much better than opening the damn thing. But the more time he spent on it, the curiouser he got about its contents. Finally giving into his thoughts he walked back into the kitchen where he had tossed the mail. Snatching up the vanilla envelope he ripped it open and pulled out its contents.

Divorce!?

Koga blinked as he looked at the papers in his hands and then read over the papers to make certain he was reading this correctly. Ayame had filed for divorce, according to this she was taking nothing of his and all he had to do was sign the document and he was no longer married.

Surprisingly, something in him snarled with hatred at the thought of losing Ayame. Yet another part of him all but leapt for joy at the prospect of being a free man again.

Koga didn't think too hard on the matter as he hunted up a pen, quickly scribbled out his messy signature beside Ayame's and then shoved the papers back into the envelope. He was free!

Something in him reveled in the thought of being free of Ayame, and another part of him was chastising his clingy thoughts. Who cares, if the woman wanted a divorce then he'd give her a divorce, it was of no difference to him. He didn't really care what Ayame did so long as she didn't expect anything of him; he had enough responsibilities in his life.

To start of the list, he was a cop in the intelligence unit, and that gave him plenty of responsibility without complicating his life.

Two he was the new young leader of the Eastern Wolf Tribe which was not a responsibility he took lightly.

Three being married to Ayame had only been a hassle.

Koga felt confident he had made the right choice by signing those papers and butchering his connection to Ayame. It was the best choice for all involved, he was just happy Ayame had had the guts to go about filing for divorce since he hadn't. Despite not being in love with his wife he still hadn't wanted to hurt her by filing for the divorce. If he had filed it first, he had no doubt Ayame would be hurt receiving the news. It wasn't something he needed to do to her.

But for some reason he kept glancing back at the vanilla envelope on the counter. This felt all wrong, why did it feel wrong? Wasn't this the right thing to do? He looked at the wedding ring on his finger, then back at the envelope.

What the fuck was he doing!?

Snatching up the envelope he stalked over to the shredder and slid it in. Damn logic all to hell, she was his wife and he wasn't letting her walk away so easily. Pulling out his phone he texted her.

_-Signed the papers_

Then he waited for her reply.

_-K, Goodbye Koga_

Part of him regretted the lie and another part of him told him he was doing the right thing. Find out why Ayame wanted the divorce, see if she had another man in her life or something. If she did then he'd really sign the damn papers, if she didn't…

She was going to have some explaining to do, and he'd want some real good explanations from her. No one just walked away from a marriage, even an imperfect arranged marriage like theirs. And if she didn't give him any explanations then he wasn't signing the damn papers. She'd be stuck with him for all of eternity just like they had promised one another on that day two and a half years ago.

His eyes flickered over to the picture he had of that day.

She was dressed in white, her fur was wrapped around her shoulders and her green eyes were bright with glee. He loved that picture of her, Koga stared at the picture for a while. It wasn't the best day of his life, but it was nowhere near the worst day either. Ayame would be explaining this to him, they had been friends when they had been cubs and he was certain they could at least talk about this. She shouldn't be making decisions like this alone. After all he was an equal member of this marriage arrangement.

* * *

**Rin's pups names:  
**

**Yuichi- Male; means 'heroic first (son)'  
**

**Tsukiko- Female; means 'moon child'**

* * *

**This is the second installment of my Trying Not to series.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 2**

Sitting on her sofa Ayame read over the newest addition to her book collection when there was a knock on the door. Sighing, she glanced at her page number, closed the book, and then walked up to the door. Peeking out the peephole Ayame nearly rolled her eyes. She reluctantly opened the door.

"Hey," She glared at the figure leaning in her door frame.

"What do you want Koga?" Ayame asked, a flicker of mischief crossed his eyes at her response.

"What are you doing?" Koga asked as he brushed past her. Rolling her eyes Ayame shut the door behind Koga as he strutted into her apartment.

"Nothing, now what do you want?" Ayame reiterated as she stalked after him, she just wanted to go find a butcher's knife and skewer him. It was extremely tempting to hurt him after he had hurt her so callously.

"Just curious to see how my wife is," Koga said innocently but she sensed he was looking around for something as he wandered her apartment aimlessly.

"Ex-wife," She corrected firmly he turned around to look at her then shrugged.

"Same difference."

"With you, yes it is the same difference. Now if you're done searching my apartment for whatever it is you're looking for, I'd like you to leave now," Ayame opened the door for him.

"Ain't getting rid of me that easily kid," He warned.

"I don't know, getting rid of something implies having had it in the first place," Ayame retorted coldly only to receive a glare. She glared back at his brilliant, intimidating blue eyes and tried to figure out what she had ever seen in him.

"Why'd you file for divorce?" He asked as he walked to her kitchen, she rolled her eyes as she shut the door again. Perhaps she could go get Sango for an alibi if she murdered him. She was tempted to take a frying pan to his head, though she doubted it'd do much damage. Perhaps dent his head a little but it'd definitely destroy a good frying pan.

"Let's see. One: you don't care about me so why should I be stuck in a loveless relationship. Two: I'm pretty sure dog shit had more value to you than I did. And three: I'm tired of waiting around for the man I married to actually want to be married to me and create a family with me. So I'm cutting my losses, no one can dare say I didn't try in this marriage. Koga. I planned dates, nights out, dinners, I cooked, I cleaned, I even bought sexy lingerie and I did everything I could think of to make you happy but nothing! I've been hurting, miserable, and alone for two and a half years and you don't care, all you care about is your job and pack so go on ahead and keep them. God knows you don't need me." Ayame ranted. Now was a good time to break down into tears and beg him to stay with her but she would not be so weak as to give into her childish desires of a fantasized love she had with Koga.

"Ayame—"

"Out Koga, I don't want to see you again!" She finally shouted it, he looked stunned but didn't argue as he walked towards the door.

"This isn't over," He retorted as he opened the door. Ayame sent him an icy glare.

"This is very much over Koga. I'm done with being nothing, I had wished to at least mean something to you, but apparently even that is too much to hope for. Now leave, I have somewhere else to be and need to lock up my apartment," She informed him. He left; though he slammed her door.

He was finally gone, releasing a shaky breath she walked over to her cellphone. Her fingers texted before she thought too hard about it as she read the reply. Picking up her keys, grabbing her coat she got in her car and drove to the only place she knew she could always go to; Sesshomaru's.

"Hi," she stared up at Sesshomaru who's impassive mask was still intimidating. Though him holding his daughter sort of ruined the whole intimidation look, then again Tsukiko also had a blank stare. Yep, definitely father and daughter, if the looks didn't give it away then the blank looks did.

"Hn," was his answer as he opened his door further for her. She walked in, feeling very much at home for a change then sighed as she walked to the nursery where Rin was and sat in the spare chair; she was certain this chair was for Sesshomaru but didn't think about it. No matter what she did, Ayame simply could not see Sesshomaru as the doting, loving father type though Rin insisted he was a very loving father.

"Koga stopped by today," Ayame informed Rin.

"Uh-huh," Rin nodded and Ayame broke down crying. There was no way to stay strong during this! Though she wanted to simply because she didn't want to be weak. She hated being weak! But Koga always made her weak. It hurt her to admit that as she sat there crying. Rin said nothing as she comforted her.

"Love sucks," Ayame admitted as she wiped tears away. "Love does suck," Rin agreed, Ayame gave her friend a skeptical look.

"I doubt it sucks for you, I mean you've got everything! The man who loves you, your mate, your husband, your pack, your family, your pups, and the whole happily-fucking-after! I mean you've got everything!" Ayame snapped at Rin, who in turn sighed.

"I didn't get everything easily, Ayame. I fought for it; tooth and nail, both literally and figuratively, and it's not happily ever after. I have problems, still, and on top of that I'm hurt that you think I wouldn't understand how you feel when I felt the exact same thing in a different way a year ago!" Rin snapped back at her, Ayame hung her head in shame.

She knew all about Rin's situation and hadn't really thought Rin would understand how this felt. But when you thought about it, Rin probably did in ways Ayame could never understand. But when she peeked up at her friend she saw nothing but understanding and sympathy.

"I'm sorry," Ayame muttered.

"It's alright, I completely understand that you feel alone, and isolated, and love epically sucks," Rin agreed, Sesshomaru appeared then.

"Tsukiko's hungry," He informed Rin. Ayame felt a stab of envy at her friend again but ignored it as best she could since she was happy for Rin. If there was a person on Earth who deserved happiness it was Rin. Ayame was startled when Rin deposited Yuichi in her arms, Sesshomaru looked indifferent but she sensed slight jealousy. She smirked at the pup who stared up at her.

"He'll be fine Sesshomaru, besides Ayame needs him more than you do at the moment," Rin informed her mate, Sesshomaru said nothing as he walked off. Ayame let out a soft giggle then.

"I didn't think Sesshomaru to be the jealous type," She chuckled as she looked out the door for Sesshomaru.

"Don't underestimate my mate," Rin warned her as she situated herself to feed Tsukiko. Ayame turned to the baby and smiled, "How are you doing?" She asked as she gently rocked Yuichi.

"Better, doctor cleared me to resume my normal…activities." Rin was blushing so red Ayame began laughing.

"Sex is completely normal," Ayame replied to her friend who turned redder. "Just cause' it's normal doesn't mean I like talking about it," Rin muttered.

"You're right, preforming it is so much more fun," Ayame teased only for Rin to turn a brighter red as she nursed Tsukiko. She had to admit, teasing Rin was fun.

"You're worse than Sesshomaru," Rin grumbled and now Ayame really laughed, she didn't seem able to stop it despite Yuichi's baleful glare for waking him. The mere idea of Sesshomaru teasing anyone was so obscure she had to laugh at it. Though it appeared Rin was being completely serious.

Staying at Sesshomaru's for a day seemed to be the best way to relax. Though it was clear before she walked out of the house Sesshomaru wanted his pup back as he snatched him from her before she could blink. Perhaps he really was the doting father type. Getting into her car she drove home, it was her day off from the hospital and she was free. Perhaps she'd hang out with Kagome, the thought of curling up and reading her book just felt depressing. No doubt Kagome's love life would be entertaining to listen to, it almost always was because Kagome redefined 'hot mess' in the love department.

Honestly, at least to her and Sango, looking at Kagome's love life made them feel better about theirs since Kagome's was one never ending tragedy. If it could happen, it could and was likely to happen to Kagome. Everything from love triangles to love diagrams, and to love relationships so complex and irritating she and Sango mapped it out for their convenience; it was hidden in Sango's apartment since Ayame wasn't suicidal enough to keep it in hers. If Kagome found out about the map…she shuddered. But the map was necessary since Kagome's love life was so complex.

Walking up to the sixth floor Ayame swung by Sango's place.

"Hey," Sango greeted. "I divorced Koga," Ayame replied rather bluntly. Sango just gaped at her.

"Do Rin and Kagome know!?" Sango choked out.

"Rin does, she actually was the one who inspired me to file for divorce. I want to be happy, but I haven't told Kagome yet. I told you first because you're a few floors before Kagome and I don't feel like hiking all night," Ayame admitted.

"We gotta tell Kagome!" Sango dragged Ayame behind her. "What about your papers!?" Ayame protested.

"Screw 'em! This is way more important!" Sango cried as they walked up to Kagome's apartment. Sango pounded on Kagome's door until Kagome threw it open.

"What!? I'm working here!" Kagome snapped irritably; must involve math Ayame concluded. Kagome hated, loathed, despised and avoided math to the best of her ability but occasionally Inuyasha threw math her way.

"Ayame got a divorce!"

"_**WHAT!?**_ _Get in here!_" Kagome dragged her in with Sango. Ayame was startled as she was shoved into a chair and thus began a long night of explaining, crying, and a bottle of wine. But after explaining everything, Ayame had to admit she felt so much better.

* * *

Koga sat at a bar watching the sports news trying to figure this out. What the hell did she mean 'feeling like nothing'? Why the hell were women so damn confusing? He turned to look at Ginta and Hakkaku when they walked into the bar, looking like at their normal slightly idiotic grins. Leave it to his pack members to look like happy, go lucky fools while his entire world seemed to be going down in flames. How was it receiving something close to the best news of his life, could be making his world go so askew? He didn't understand this at all, he should be happy.

Why wasn't he?

"Koga!" They both greeted in unison.

"What do you two want?" Koga asked as he sipped his beer. "We heard about Ayame," Hakkaku said in a cheerful tone. Koga wouldn't snarled at his friend but these two weren't exactly the two most sympathetic creatures on the planet.

"Yep."

"So it's official?" Ginta asked.

"Yep," He lied since he was trying to figure out how to get Ayame back.

"Wanna go pick up some women?" Hakkaku asked. "Nope." Koga replied as he took another sip of his beer.

"Wanna go out drinking?" Ginta persisted.

"Nah," He informed them. All he wanted to do was sit here, drink this beer, and watch the sports news while he tried to figure out where he an Ayame had gone wrong. His pack mates clearly didn't understand this as they sat beside him at the bar arguing.

True he hadn't been the most attentive of husbands. And now that he thought back on the last two and half years he hadn't even tried to be a husband or a friend or even a lover for Ayame. That didn't mean she was perfect either but looking back on this he was certain that a big portion of this was his fault.

He remembered Ayame's texts and calls informing him she had dinner ready for him at the beginning of their marriage but he hadn't ever replied to them and rarely thought to go there. Thinking it was a trick of sorts. They also hadn't gone on dates, and he had brushed her off a lot when he thought back on it. But that was only because he had never taken their relationship seriously. Taking them seriously implied something he was not ready to admit to. As to the sexy lingerie thing, had he really been so oblivious to that!? He didn't doubt Ayame had done that since she wasn't exactly one to lie about things she had done but he didn't remember it. Strange…

"I want her back," Koga replied.

"What boss!?" They both gaped at him.

"I want to get Ayame back," he repeated in a clear voice.

"Are you sure boss?" Hakkaku and Ginta asked in disbelief.

"Yep."

"How are you going to go about it?"

"Dunno."

Hakkaku and Ginta were silent for a moment before looking up at their leader with a smile.

"Need help?"

"Probably."

"We're in!" they exclaimed, he just took another sip of his beer. He'd figure this out since he wasn't letting Ayame walk away from their marriage.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 3**

Today was it.

The day she would talk to her pack about the divorce. She hadn't thought to call up her grandfather and tell him since she felt he deserved to hear it from her in person. This was not a phone call sort of talk. She'd have this conversation face to face with her grandfather because it was what he deserved and if he banished her, which was very likely, then she could always go to Rin, Sango, and Kagome for support. They were a pack for her, a different pack but a pack all the same.

As Ayame drove up north, she tried to think of a way to tell her pack their tie to the Eastern Wolf Tribe was severed because she wasn't staying miserable. She was entitled to be a little selfish about her life on occasion. Being married to Koga, despite her loving him, had been absolute hell. Pulling up to the mansion, which was her grandfather's, she got out of her car. Staring at it for a moment she steadied her resolve on this matter because there'd be no turning back once she walked to that door. And she was not going home without telling her grandfather about this. Chōrō appeared out of his house and went up to greet her.

"Granddaughter!" He chimed, she smiled as she walked up to him.

"Hello Grandfather!" She walked up to him and hugged him.

"So good to see you kiddo, how's married life treating you?" he asked as they walked into the mansion, she inhaled his wonderful scent of pipe tobacco and peppermint.

"That's actually why I came today." Ayame followed him to his study, sat with him though she wanted to cry, weep, and beg for forgiveness she didn't. She had to be strong through this mess or else she really might just break. She refused to break, flipping her brilliant red hair over her shoulder she looked at her grandfather who sat across from her.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Chōrō asked, Ayame took a shaky breath. This was it. The moment she had dreaded for days on end.

"I divorced Koga," Ayame said firmly, her grandfather just gave her a blank stare as if she had just slapped him.

"You did what?" He choked out.

"I divorced Koga," Ayame repeated slowly for him.

"W-w-why?" he stuttered out, Ayame just sighed as she explained the real last two years of her marriage and how in the last half a year she had grown tired of being hurt, alone, and insignificant to Koga. Chōrō listened to everything she was saying though it was clear to her, her grandfather was not pleased with the news of her divorce or what she was telling him now.

Ayame hadn't exactly been truthful with her grandfather over the past two years because of her secret hopes that her marriage to Koga would get better. It was only recently that she realized that would never happen since Koga had no interest in her. Still the lies she had told of being happy, of Koga loving her, of her life being good had built up over the last few years and now she was telling the truth. It was obviously hurting her grandfather as she sat there telling him all about her troubles. It hurt her to admit all of this but it was time to let go of all the lies, let go of the pains, and to let go of her miseries of being married to Koga. It wasn't all that hard she realized., to tell her grandfather the truth once she got started. Finally she finished her tale as she sat there looking at him.

"He's a fool," Her grandfather growled out. Ayame said nothing, she had nothing to say.

"You should've told me this from the start, girl," He informed her. She looked up to see the fury in his eyes.

"No, I had hoped it'd get better but it didn't. I'm sorry I lied about it," Ayame murmured.

"Nonsense! This isn't your fault, If I had known Koga to be so irresponsible then I'd have never arranged the marriage." Ayame shrugged, she hadn't opposed the marriage. In fact she had wanted it.

"No, it's no one's fault really, it just didn't work. I'm sorry about that, Grandfather," She said truthfully.

Perhaps the kind of happiness her friend Rin had obtained was truly rare and truly once in a lifetime, and she was to only witness it. It wouldn't be fair if that was true but it'd fit with the reality of life. Life was not fair, life was not required to be fair, and life wasn't expected to be kind or easy.

"So what's really been going on with you Ayame?" He asked, she smiled and then started from the start of her moving to the city two and a half years ago.

She told him about her neighbors who were her best friends, Sango, Kagome and Rin. She told him about being the honorary aunt to Rin's pups, hanyou pups since Rin was the mate to the Sesshomaru Taisho. She told him about her friend Sango, who was a high school history teacher along with being the volleyball, basketball, and softball coach. She told him all about Kagome who was a complete and total klutz and had the most complicated love life she had ever witnessed. Ayame told him all about working at the ER with Shiori, and Dr. Suikotsu. Then she described the thrill of living in the big city. She filled him in on everything she had been up to in the last two and a half years, gleefully reliving some of it and hating other bits of it.

It was nice to tell him the truth, the full truth and to tell him about her friends. She had hated lying to him during those last few years and was happy to tell him everything that she had been up to in these last two years. He listened, laughed, frowned, scolded her, and gave her bits of advice for improving certain things in her living situation

"Ah to be young again," He chuckled as he walked her out of his mansion.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth," she admitted as she stood in the doorway with him.

"It's alright, girl, I suspect your outlook is from your mother. She liked to hope for the better too, even if it didn't always come she still liked hoping."

"You're not angry with me?" Ayame asked in disbelief.

"I could never be angry with you, girl, I'm just disappointed your marriage didn't work and you were hurt," He admitted, she hugged him again. "Don't wait a few years until your next visit," he murmured in her ear as she let him go.

"I'll come back sooner next time." Ayame replied.

"That's my girl, and smile for he's an idiot if he didn't see what a treasure you are."

"Yeah, well I guess he never really did, and I was too blind to see it that way." Ayame admitted and her Grandfather looked saddened by her statement. "I love you Gramps, I'll be around again soon."

Walking to her car she drove home. So he didn't hate her for being a little selfish, she felt a monumental relief at the knowledge her Grandfather didn't hate her. Pulling into her parking slot she walked up to her apartment then sighed at the sight of the person who continued to hurt her.

"What do you want Koga?" Ayame asked as she walked to her door, she pulled out her keys.

"I want a second chance," He stated and Ayame sighed as she leaned on her front door looking at him. For some reason she felt exhausted being here with him.

"Koga, I'm tired," Ayame informed him, honestly not faking her exhaustion now.

"Ayame I want to try." Ayame frowned at the comment.

"You had two and a half years to try, why now? Why after we are divorced does this matter to you!? Seriously? Go on, continue being you and doing whatever you do. You're free Koga," Ayame growled, he looked down at her.

"I'm serious Ayame, I want to try again."

"No, there's nothing to try again." She had finally admitted the truth. There was nothing to try again, at least not for her. Koga had done a good job of letting her heart wither off and die.

"Ayame—," He started.

"Go, Koga, just go away. I'm tired, I have work tomorrow, and we have nothing left to talk about. There's nothing here for you anymore, there was at one point, but there's nothing left Koga. I have nothing for you. It was here, a while ago, but there's nothing left in me to give you anything." Ayame felt miserable admitting the one bit of her she had hoped to ignore.

"Ayame—," He started again.

"Just go Koga, I have to get up at three and I've had a long day," Ayame walked into her apartment alone, shutting the door on him. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath. She wished to God she believed him when he had said he wanted to try again, but there was nothing to try.

He had proven he didn't care about her, and this was all probably a way to go about boosting his ego. She snorted at the thought at him trying to resurrect her dead heart with honest intentions. She wouldn't put it past him, he was very ego centered and when things failed around him he liked trying to fix it how he wanted it. Sighing again she flipped the lock of her apartment door and decided she had just shut the door on Koga, both literally and metaphorically.

Undoing her coat she dropped it on the floor, she left a trail of discarded clothes behind her as she walked to her bed. Falling onto it she sighed again, perhaps tomorrow she could focus on pulling herself back together. Piece by discarded piece.

Being married to Koga had been hell on her heart, it hadn't been like when they had been cubs. Back then everything had been simple, fun and easy. Now it was hell on her heart and she wished it wasn't. Why couldn't life stay simple, and childhood life had been so simple. It was wonderful when she thought back on it, but when you got older life got complicated.

Closing her eyes she fell asleep. Hopefully Koga would let her move on with her life, hopefully she could get going again, and hopefully there was someone else out there whom she could love and be loved in return. Loving in a one way street was no fun. Letting sleep consume her she faded from the world of the living into her dreams where she could be happy again.

* * *

He stared at the door which had been shut in his face and wondered what she had meant. Why the hell was it so hard for her to believe him? He wanted to try again. Koga had plans to do it right this time but she had just shut the door in his face!

Blinking at the door he scowled as he left. Damn women! Why couldn't they at least give a man a chance to talk to them? He stalked to his motorcycle then rode home. Perhaps Ayame was right, he was free if they got a divorce, he'd be free to do whatever he pleased but he didn't want that. Koga snarled as he stalked to the fridge to pull out a beer. He didn't want to be free.

Strange how it had taken divorce papers for him to realize that he wanted Ayame as his wife. She didn't know he hadn't filed them, or returned them. Technically they were filed to the city, the city dump that is since he had shredded them. She wouldn't be too happy about that when she found out, he chuckled at the idea of her finding out. The Ayame he knew would track him down, with a new set of papers and extra to shove down his throat until he gave in and signed them.

She wasn't walking away from him, no she was not. He would let her go that easily, Koga stood in his house then thought about what she had said. She had felt like nothing. How was he going to make her realize she was so much more to him if he didn't even know why she felt like nothing? Resting his chin on his fist he leaned on the counter. He tried to think of a way to make her realize her value to him. Perhaps starting over would be the only way to prove he cared about her. Koga didn't dare to say he loved her but she was one of his oldest friends, she was one of the only females he cared about and she was the only one who was more stubborn than he.

He remembered when they had been seventeen in high school and she had marched up to him and told him he was taking her to the dance. And that was that in front of the girl he had been trying to ask out, Suijin. Most embarrassing day of his life but he had taken Ayame to the dance because it made sense. It was then he realized he cared about her.


	4. Chapter 4

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 4**

Waking up she got ready for her shift at the hospital. Pulled her red hair up, dragged on her scrubs, and picked up her very comfy shoes for work then walked out of her apartment with an energy bar in her hand for her breakfast. She'd swing by the gas station for her coffee and then head to work. Make it through her day then start on dinner, perhaps she'd go by Sesshomaru's for dinner. Rin was always cooking and the pups would be a delight to see after yesterday.

Turning on the radio she sang along, prayed for strength and enjoyed her music. Her normal cheerful attitude was gone for a while as she tried to recollect herself. Picking up her coffee she drove to the hospital, after finishing her coffee, she walked to the locker room and took a deep breath. One could not work in the ER if they let their emotions run them, she wouldn't let that happen. People's lives depended on her.

For Ayame the trick really was just handling what she had in front of her no matter what the task was. One patient at a time was the only way for her to operate. Now it was her break and she was sitting in the lounge with her nurse friend Shiori who was an unbelievably beautiful hanyou. Both the women were catching their breaths at that moment.

"So are you certain this is what you want Ayame?" Her friend asked in concern.

"No, but I've had enough. I cannot stay with him, I just might murder him!" Ayame let her head fall against the back of her chair.

"I'm sorry Ayame," Shiori sighed, Ayame said nothing as she stared at the ceiling.

"Why can't he just love me?" Ayame mumbled.

"Because from what you've told me, he's too in love with whatever cause he's pursuing ,to actually love someone." Shiori filled in for Ayame. The wolf demon merely sighed as she sat there. She was right.

"I know, but the worst part of this now is that he keeps showing up. I swear I've seen more of him since the divorce than I ever did during the marriage. It's hurtful and he doesn't seem to care!" Ayame nearly shouted in anger.

"That's a man for you, completely insensitive," Ayame didn't bother to counter that statement since she thought it to be half true. Koga was completely insensitive, saying all men were that way was an insult to half the world's population. And there were some pretty great guys out there, just not Koga.

"No, I think I just pick losers," Ayame admitted.

"No, men are just losers," Shiori said firmly which had Ayame laughing in her seat. Leave it to Shiori to be pissed at mankind on her behalf, but then again Shiori had it tough since she was dating Hojo who was a cousin to Akihito Hojo.

"It gets better, it has to get better," Ayame assured herself more than her friend.

She had to believe that or she just might break. Getting up they went back to work. She performed her job to the best of her ability, she was happy to say that she lost no one today as she worked steadily through her day and ran her rounds. Finishing her shift she was in the locker room changing as she texted Rin. Rin welcomed her for dinner, apparently she'd be joining Kagome, Izayoi, and InuTaisho since they all absolutely loved Tsukiko and Yuichi. Ayame wondered how well Sesshomaru was taking that as she pulled on her coat and walked out of the hospital.

"You can't keep shutting me out Ayame," She jumped, spun around to stare into a set of icy blue eyes.

"You know I've seen more of you now that I've filed for divorce than I ever did when we were married," Ayame spat bitterly, he shot her a disbelieving look.

"I came around often enough," He argued. To which she snorted, clearly he did not have a good memory! He only showed up when he wanted something. "You only came when you wanted something, usually food," Ayame snapped as she walked to her car. Koga followed her.

"Let me take you on a date," He said as he walked beside her. She said nothing for there was nothing for her to say. In high school getting him to do anything with her required her demanding him to go off with her and she was so tired of being demanding. If he didn't want to do anything with her then she wouldn't suffer his company.

"Please stop walking away and just talk to me," He pleaded as he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him.

"There is nothing to talk about Koga, because you don't mean it. I'm not interested in getting pretty for a date with a guy who won't even be there, I've done that too many times already and I can't anymore." She remembered all those dinners she'd arrange with Koga only for her to end up sitting alone in a restaurant, all prettied up, and alone for hours. Ayame had always informed the men who came to her or the waiters she was waiting for her husband, he'd never show and she'd end up humiliated and alone and heading home for a pint of Ben &amp; Jerry's to drown her sorrows.

"I mean it," he promised.

"No you don't, I'll be sitting there like an idiot for hours waiting for you for what? It'll end up with you being a no show, I won't be a fool for you anymore Koga!" Ayame shouted at him, she was tired of him making a fool of her. And the part that enraged her the most was that he didn't seem to notice!

"Ayame, I promise to take you to dinner and to be there and to take you out for a good time." Koga promised, and for some reason she actually thought he was being sincere about it

"You want to go to dinner!? Than actually show up at my apartment and pick me up, and you had better have something other than that damn bike and maybe, I'll get ready for a date with you," She snarled as she yanked herself away from him and continued to stalk to her car. Koga kept in step with her as she walked to her car. Why was this so important to him now? She wondered as she opened her door.

"Alright, date, time and where do you want to go?" He asked as he leaned on her opened door. Ayame was tempted to slam his fingers in her door because he was doing a good job of provoking her temper.

"Fine, if you want a date so bad then tomorrow, six o'clock on the dot; don't you dare to even be late and we'll go Dancing at Jakotsu's," Ayame snapped at him.

He paled but she was glaring at him. She had picked six o'clock because it was a reasonable time to go off and do something, and dancing because he hated dancing. If Koga really wanted this date then he'd show up regardless but Ayame seriously doubted it. She would make her back up plans because something in her hoped he'd actually show up this time. Though she doubted it.

"Fine," He agreed through clenched fangs.

"You get one chance Koga, blow me off for anything or just don't show up then don't bother to show up ever again because I'm done with you, I am so done its not even funny." She yanked the door from him and tried to run over his toes as she backed out of the slot to head to Sesshomaru's.

At least Kagome and Rin would be good company, she didn't really know the Taisho's and honestly aside from Rin she didn't think anyone really knew Sesshomaru. Pulling up to Sesshomaru's she got out, walked to the door, knocked and was greeted by a small black hair woman who looked exhausted, pale, but happy as she held a squirming Yuichi who clearly wanted his mother or father.

"Hey, I'm Ayame," Ayame introduced herself.

"Oh! You're Rin and Kagome's friend! I'm Izayoi," The woman replied as she let Ayame in. "Nice to meet you, you are Rin's mother-in-law right? " Ayame knew that much about the Taisho's since Rin absolutely adored Izayoi.

"Yep, and this is my grandbaby who's acting like his father!" Izayoi motioned to the squirming infant who appeared to be trying to escape.

"He doesn't like being rocked," Ayame informed Izayoi who blinked at her. "He likes being held but not rocked, first time I rocked him he screamed bloody murder for Rin."

"Oh, no wonder he's fidgety," Izayoi stopped trying to rock the infant who stared up at his grandmother and aunt with large amber eyes. "I swear they're taking after their father, picky, quiet, and stubborn."

"The stubbornness is from Rin," Ayame mused as she walked into the dining room with Izayoi. She was startled to walk into the scene where Sesshomaru was holding Rin in his arms, sitting at the head of the table and Rin holding their daughter, who unless she was knocked out, did not let anyone else hold her. InuTaisho on the right with Kagome and Izayoi taking her seat on the left. Ayame sat beside Izayoi and wondered why Sesshomaru was holding Rin.

"Hi Ayame," Rin smiled at her.

"Hi Rin," Ayame smiled back as she picked up a plate of offered fish and ate it. Dinner was a loud and boisterous event between InuTaisho, Izayoi, and Kagome. By the end of dinner Ayame was pretty certain she knew why Sesshomaru was holding Rin, it was so he didn't kill his father and stepmother. At least that was her conclusion as she laughed, talked, and enjoyed dinner at Sesshomaru's. Dinner was over and she was helping Rin with the dishes, Sesshomaru had been quick to disappear out in the backyard with his daughter and Ah and Un.

"So Koga asked me on a date," Ayame informed Rin, who blinked at her.

"Really?"

"Yep, tomorrow at six to Jakotsu's for some dancing, if he doesn't show can I come here and cry my heart and soul out over some Ben &amp; Jerry's?" Ayame asked.

"Yeah, if he doesn't show want me to sic Sesshomaru on him?" Rin giggled.

"Could you?" Ayame giggled back. Both women laughed, Ayame at the thought of Sesshomaru doing anything for her. Though he might do it if Rin asked, it was obvious to anyone who saw them together that Rin had Sesshomaru wrapped around her pretty little finger.

"I'll see what I can do," Rin mused as she leaned on the counter.

"So you and Sesshomaru? Have you resumed sex?" Ayame asked innocently, her friend absolutely reeked of Sesshomaru again. But not in a bad way, before the twins Ayame had almost always smelled Sesshomaru on her, but she hadn't thought about it too hard. It just seemed to be a part of Rin, even if the inu daiyōkai's scent was annoyingly branding on Rin.

"Ayame!" Rin gasped all the while turning red.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ayame chuckled.

"Your nose is going to get chopped off is you keep sticking it where it doesn't belong," Rin grumbled.

"Whose nose is getting chopped off?" Kagome demanded as she appeared holding Yuichi who was giving his mother a look that screamed save me.

"Mine apparently," Ayame chuckled.

"Sesshomaru can hear you, you know that right?" Rin demanded as she accepted her son from Kagome.

"That's why I said it," Ayame chuckled. Sesshomaru was liable to jump Rin the moment they were gone but until they were gone it was fun to tease them both. Though she was not suicidal enough to say it to Sesshomaru.

"She's getting lucky and lucky, lucky," Kagome grumbled. Rin's redness had all three of them bursting into laughter.

* * *

Koga was being tested, he had to be because he knew Ayame knew how much he hated dancing. Glaring at the beer in his hand he pondered this for a long quiet moment. Well if he was being tested by Ayame then he'd excel in her little 'test' he'd be there at six and he'd have some damn flowers for the woman and he'd be prepared to go on the date. He'd have a car, which he was swiping from Ginta since Ginta didn't need it and he did. He'd be dressed nicely, sadly since he hated dressing up. He'd have the damn flowers and he'd be there for her.

He couldn't wait to see her face when she opened the door.

Boy was she in for a shock because he'd be there, he'd be dressed up and he'd be ready for their date. She'd have to deal with it and come with him because he was not letting the woman off the hook so easily. She'd be going on this date she wanted.

Koga was determined not to let her down.

This could work, but this time he'd put a little more effort in this arrangement so Ayame didn't feel unwanted or like nothing. She could've kicked him and he wouldn't have felt half as bad as he had when she had said she was tired of being nothing. It had never been his intent to ignore her, but he had no fucking clue what to do with a wife. He pulled out the wedding ring he hadn't discarded and stared at it. What was marriage? Really?


	5. Chapter 5

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 5**

Ayame was sitting there with her feet up on the arm of her couch reading her book. He had five minutes, she peeked up at the clock and continued to read her book. So she had her back up plan to implement. Rin was on speed dial, the Ben &amp; Jerry was in Rin's fridge, and the comfort blankets were ready along with the guest room which Rin had assured her Sesshomaru would not mind lending to her. Ayame started on her book again, though she hadn't made much progress on it since she had been looking at the same page for the last ten minutes wondering if she should just leave early to cry her broken heart out, again. It would save her a lot of pain to just know when Koga wouldn't show up so she could go off and cry out her pain.

If he showed up after having not shown up for the date he requested she'd murder him.

Ayame would make certain to call Rin to dispose of the body, perhaps they could plant the wolf in the middle of the damn forest because Kami know they couldn't bury the bastard in Sesshomaru's garden. Sesshomaru just might kill her for doing that, besides…it was too pretty of a spot for Koga. Ayame looked at her book. Oh what the hell!? Slamming her book shut she shoved it onto the coffee table. She hated waiting, she hated waiting for her heart to be broken. Frowning she wondered when she had become so negative about Koga. Probably between 'I do' and now.

Heaving a sigh Ayame just stared at the clock. Damn Koga and getting her hopes up. Only he could hurt her this way. She hated to admit it but it was true, only Koga held the ability to break her heart. It sucked!

Why was it the most careless creature on the planet had hold of her heart? He was the reason it was in tatters and sadly, to her chagrin, he was the one who still retained custody of her heart. Love just epically sucked! She hated it, she hated love and if she ever got her hands on Cupid…that adorable baby with wings would be dead so he couldn't hurt anyone else with the evil weapon of love! Oh yes, Cupid would die a slow, and painful death at her claws.

Knock, knock, knock.

"_**Eek!**_" she tumbled onto the floor out of shock then looked at the clock. Blinking she rubbed her eyes the carefully got to her feet as she crept over to the door. Cracking it open she looked at Koga.

"You said six o'clock," he informed her with his cocky grin and flowers in hand. She looked from him to the flowers, and back.

"One minute," she said coldly.

"Can I at least come in?" Koga asked.

"No," she snapped as she shut the door then raced to her bedroom. The best part of being a yōkai was it really did only take a minute to get ready for a date or something. Pulling on a purple dress, black heels, her red hair up into a messy bun then slashing on her makeup she returned to the door, grabbed her coat, then opened the door. Not saying anything Ayame took the flowers, retreated into her apartment with him standing there dumbfounded put them in a vase, since she liked irises, and then walked to him.

"Are you actually coming or should I just get in the car to drive to Sesshomaru's?" Ayame asked as she locked her apartment door.

"Why would you go to that mutt's house?" Koga growled out as they walked down the stairs, she was careful to remain out of his reach.

"Because that mutt happens to be the mate to one of my best friends," she snapped at him. Koga frowned.

"I don't like you hanging out with inuyōkai," he informed her.

"Well you don't get a say in what I do or do not do since that would actually require you to hang around me," she said tartly as she got into what she knew to be Ginta's car. At least he had gotten a car, she thought as she buckled in.

"That's not fair Ayame," he informed her as he started the engine.

"What's not fair, you trying to dictate my life when one; we're no longer married, two; you're never around; and three; because you think being alpha means being a controlling ass? Or is it not fair since it's true and you hate having that pointed out," Ayame asked coldly.

"Ayame, I'm trying," he sighed in defeat, she said nothing as she looked back out the window. She had tried too, but he didn't remember that since he had been too busy with being self-absorbed to care about her. She shut her eyes to fight back the tears which could come at any moment. Koga didn't know, and she sincerely doubted he cared, about the wringer he had put her heart through. He was so absorbed in justice and causes and quests that he often times forgot about the people around him. Ayame opened her eyes to stare out at the passing city.

Once upon a time his dedication was something she had loved about him. Now she didn't. Truthfully Ayame didn't know what to love about him or if there was anything to love about him anymore. She didn't hate him, she wished she did since it would make her life so much less painful, but she wasn't certain as to why she loved him anymore. Was it simply because it was convienent? Or was it because she actually, pitifully, and painfully in love with him to that point where love was pain? She was inclined to think the latter simply because she had never loved anyone like she loved Koga.

"Ayame," she turned to look at the man who could hurt her and watched him watching the road.

"How about we start fresh?" he suggested, part of her leapt at the idea, another part; a much larger part; of her just screamed no. He didn't get a do over after what he had done to her.

"No," she said firmly. He slid a look at her.

"That's not fair," he informed her.

"Life isn't fair Koga, you don't get a pass just because you want a relationship now."

"Alright, can you at least pretend for a night you like me," he suggested.

"I like you, I just don't trust you," Ayame countered. It was true, she still liked Koga but she was so tired of being betrayed she didn't trust him. Trusting him was what had gotten her into this painful mess with her heart. He couldn't possibly comprehend how painful it was for her to love him and then him to think he deserved a do-over because it was now convenient for him. If he wanted this to work he'd have to work hard at it because she wasn't going to make it easy.

"So you like me?" he sounded disbelieving and pleased at the notion.

"Don't get your hopes up Koga. Liking you has little to do with what I feel for you at the moment," she warned him seriously. It took serious will power for her not to kill him most of the time because of his insufferable ways.

"Alright, what do I have to do to make this work Ayame?" he asked as he stopped at a red light.

"Start by actually being there Koga, don't run away just because it got hard all of a sudden, and do not think to be a self-centered, egotistical, crusader because I will kill you if you pull that on me ever again. I am a living being not a doormat and I refuse to be treated as if I don't matter." She warned, she wanted to matter to someone, she wanted to be loved, she wanted to be someone's girl, she wanted a family. Preferably with Koga but she wasn't going to go about getting her hopes up on that one.

"Alright, I'll try to work on that," he grumbled.

"Do whatever you want Koga, but if you want this to work you're going to have to work on yourself," she sighed out in frustration.

"How about you work on trying not to hate me so much?" he suggested.

"I don't hate you," she informed him. She hated what he did to her.

"You could've fooled me," he grumbled.

"I don't, I'm just tired of being hurt by you because you are the only one left on this planet with that ability. I congratulate you! Not even my parents, grandfather or pack had that ability but you did. So congrats." She admitted it honestly only to receive a disbelieving stare from him.

"Why tell me that?" he demanded, she sighed for what she had just told him went against every instinct she had. She was a wolf after all and sharing weaknesses was not to be done, but it was necessary now. He had to know what he had done to her and her heart.

"Because Koga, you only have yourself to blame for the way I am," Ayame said as she got out of the car for Jakotsu's. Leaving a baffled Koga in the car as she walked in. She smiled at the host who lead her and a dumbfounded Koga to their tables.

Dinner was nice, she had fun dancing even if Koga was scowling the entire time. Ayame had fun chatting up a different ookami, it was great fun though she was ignoring Koga who was snarling at that time. She also danced with a few guys since Koga was adamant on the 'I don't dance' thing until he stole her from one of her partners. He looked furious but she didn't care, he had no say in what she did or didn't do anymore and she was determined to have fun even if he was a genuine ass at her having fun. The night was coming to a close when Jakotsu and his partner Bankotsu showed up to shout for closing. Ayame was giggling so much from the fun she had as she walked out she didn't notice her arm linked with Koga's as she walked out with him.

It had been a blast, even if Koga had growled at half the people she had talked to. Once loaded up in Ginta's car she just relaxed from the evening. Even with Koga it had been fun but she wasn't going to tell Koga it had been fun, let him figure it out. Though knowing him that wasn't likely…

Sighing again she watched the city zip by as she and Koga drove to her apartment complex. She hopped out of the car before he could open the door for her, breezed past him into the building and up to her apartment. Pulling out her keys she unlocked her door when she noted Koga was looming behind her.

"So how'd I do?" he asked.

"It's a start," she informed him as she leaned against her door.

"Do I get to kiss you or no?" he asked.

"No," she lost her smile then. It wasn't that she didn't want him to kiss her, in fact she had wanted him to kiss her; really kiss her; since their wedding. But if he kissed her and he made her feel happy again only to turn around and leave her in the dust again then she wouldn't survive. Because he'd run off with her heart and he'd continue to kill it, she didn't want to give him more power over her than he already had.

"Alright, I'll play this your way Ayame, but know I'm going to get you," he warned her softly. His blue eyes had a dangerous glint to them.

"I don't doubt that you'll chase but unless you intend to mean it you don't get me," she said coolly as she walked into her apartment leaving him in the hallway.

* * *

Koga stared at her door before he walked away. Tonight had been fun, even if he had been furious at other men pawing at his wife. But it appeared Ayame had had fun. Which had meant a lot to him, shockingly. And she had informed him it was a start, he'd just have to focus on meaning everything he did around her. She was his wife, he walked onto the street to glance up at her apartment. He stared at her silhouette in the window.

He smirked.

Until tonight he hadn't realized just how much he loved that woman. He was going to catch her again, and this time he was keeping her. Koga got in the car and drove into the night formulating a plan to catch Ayame.

* * *

**Special Thanks to NekoxUsa since she read and edited the first four chapters, Thanks!  
**

**Now to the other important stuff:**

**Because George (my computer) &amp; I at war at the moment everything I promised will be delivered tomorrow; truthfully you're lucky to even be getting this.**

**-36 Weeks &amp; Counting will be here tomorrow; I promise but right now George and I are at war.**

**-A Day in the Life of Kagome &amp; Inuyasha will also be here tomorrow.**

**-Because I Love You will be updated Monday or Tuesday depending on my war.**

**-To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor may or may not be updated later today depending on how said war is going.**

**Sorry about the delays.**

**Another side note: I've never written about characters like Ayame or Koga so be kind in the reviews about their character. Honestly I think Sesshomaru and Rin are SOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier to write but that's just me. Be kind, and constructive in criticism about this issue since I have no idea what I'm doing here, but I'm working on it.**

**Other than that...nothing to report! Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	6. Chapter 6

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 6**

Ayame stared at the flowers and the card, then she sighed. So he had dedicated himself to a new cause, she thought bitterly as she contemplated chucking the flowers out the window; again. It appeared Koga's latest cause was her. Now would be a good time to go pound her head against a rock.

That asshole!

When she got her claws on him…Ayame glared at the irises which she had loved until this damn card had slid out of them. Now she wanted to chuck the flowers out the window. Damn Koga, she hated what he was doing to her heart, she hated herself for thinking maybe; this time; he'd really change all the while she knew she'd be torn to pieces by him. The asshole was going to suffer, she glared the entire time she snatched up her keys, coat and stalked to her car. If she wasn't such a cautious, even tempered woman she might have had a case of road rage at the moment, but she was not a hysterical emotional creature, she was calm and level headed.

Who the hell was she kidding?

She was pissed! When she got to her destination, after having nearly killed a few people on the way she stormed to the front door, she looked at it. She could just walk in, then again she liked breathing, so she knocked instead. Her yōkai ears picked up Rin's panic as she scrambled around in the house and it didn't take a genius to sense Sesshomaru's annoyance. Perhaps she had interrupted something? Her eyes met Rin's large brown eyes, yep Ayame had interrupted something, and from the mused hair, half buttoned shirt she guessed it had been something pleasurable.

"Sorry for interrupting," Ayame started.

"You're not interrupting anything," Rin hastily said with a smile which only received a growl from Sesshomaru. Ayame smothered her giggles at her friend and her mate since Sesshomaru looked indifferent as always but was glaring at her. She was surprised she didn't burst into flames then.

"Can I come in?" she asked since she didn't want to get farther onto Sesshomaru's bad side. Strange how before she was friends with Rin she never knew Sesshomaru and now he was a governing factor of her life and he wasn't even the one she was friends with! She watched Sesshomaru walk away and disappear down towards the nursery, Rin just frown at him.

"Sorry, he's irritable," Rin informed her.

"There's a way to tell a difference between his irritable attitude and indifferent one?" Ayame asked as she walked in, she seriously couldn't tell the difference in Sesshomaru's expressions unless she managed to interrupt something. Then he glared at her, which wasn't fun.

"Sesshomaru's a very expressive creature, though why no one believes it is beyond me!" Rin exclaimed, Ayame looked at Rin.

"I know the number to a great ophthalmologist you should go and get your eyes checked," Ayame informed her friend as they walked to the kitchen. Rin frowned at her, Ayame was completely serious though. Sesshomaru made statues look expressive.

"So what's up?" Rin asked as she pulled her tangle black hair back.

"I'm murdering Koga, will you help me dispose of the body?" Ayame asked jokingly, Rin smiled.

"Of course I'll help dispose of the body."

"Good, the bastard should rot in hell for what he's done to my heart," Ayame grumbled as she leaned on the counter as Rin sat on the counter. She didn't understand that about her friend, Rin didn't like shoes either and she loved sitting on tables and counters rather than chairs. So strange.

"So when should I get the shovel and where are we burying him?" Rin asked jokingly.

"Well, I'd say your garden but it's too pretty of a spot for him and I don't think your mate wants a dead wolf in his backyard so how about the forest?"

"Sure just send smoke signals when you need my help," Rin teased, Ayame grinned.

"You're a great friend Rin, but I seriously just might kill him." Ayame held up the note from the flowers. Rin took it, Ayame nodded when Rin looked at her before opening the note.

"That bastard!" Rin exclaimed.

"Yep," Ayame agreed. Sesshomaru appeared, kissed Rin's brow then walked out the front door.

"I'll help you kill him if you want," Rin informed her seriously.

"Thanks but no, I just can't believe it. That's all it is to him, a game, I'm just tired of this, I'm tired of hurting, and I'm really tired of being a thing to him."

"I completely understand," Rin informed her as she disappeared down the hall at the sound of whimpering. She reappeared with her twins, she promptly put Yuichi in Ayame's arms and sat with Tsukiko in her arms.

"The worst part is he won't understand why I'm mad about this since he'll just think I'm being irrational and female," Ayame informed her friend.

"Men just don't understand," Rin agreed solemnly.

"What about your mate?"

"Ha! Sesshomaru is probably a lot like Koga in this matter so no, but Sesshomaru isn't a brute; that's the difference." Ayame giggled then, Sesshomaru wasn't a brute; he was more of an elite assassin compared to Koga who was rather a blunt force instrument.

"That's true," Ayame sighed as she looked down at Yuichi. She traced the magenta stripes on the pup's cheek.

"You can't compare a katana to a club," Rin informed Ayame.

"Both are lethal but both are different." Ayame giggled as Yuichi grabbed her finger he just stared at it with the utmost serious of expressions as she tried wiggle her finger from his grasp.

"Don't!" Rin warned, he bit her then, she winced.

"Is he poisonous like his father?" Ayame winced as his little fangs dug into her finger.

"Yeah, but it's alright, he doesn't use it on anyone," Rin promised. Ayame just winced as he bit harder into her finger while staring up at him.

"That's good, but ow!" Ayame hissed in pain, Rin just sighed as she walked over to Ayame.

"Give," Rin said to the pup, his large amber eyes looked at his mother. "Give," Rin repeated as she reached over to the pup. The pup reluctantly released her finger as his mother ordered but he was giving a blank indifferent look now.

"Ow!" Ayame winced as she looked at her finger. Nothing was turning a different color which she took as a good sign. "How do you know he's poisonous and how do you know he controls it?"

"Sesshomaru found out, Yuichi bit him and since Sesshomaru's Sesshomaru he was immune to the bite, and that's how we found out. Sesshomaru's working on their venom control. He doesn't want any accidents to happen," Rin informed her as she took a look at Ayame's finger.

"What about Tsuikio?"

"Dunno, she doesn't bite anyone," Rin informed her. Ayame just laughed then. Tsukiko looked up at both of them with wide somber blue eyes.

"That's just adorable," Ayame admitted since Tsukiko looked like the more dangerous of the two twins but that could be because she never expressed anything and was so quiet.

"Yep, and aggravating, go figure they'd both take after Sesshomaru," Rin sighed.

Ayame laughed at Rin's grumbling as she looked at the pup in her arms. They took after their mother, she saw it in the little ways. It wasn't in large ways, but it was in the small things they did.

"So back to Koga," Rin sighed.

"Back to Koga, I'm going to kill him!" Ayame snarled.

"No you're not you're going to one up him and make him grow up and realize he's got a great thing with you." Rin decided, Ayame just sighed as she held Yuichi.

"I don't know, I don't know if he's worth it anymore." There, she had admitted the horrid truth. She didn't know if she could go through with this anymore, she didn't know if she could keep up with the pain Koga could inflict on her heart anymore.

"Perhaps not, but you never know until you try," Rin said softly.

"I don't know if it's worth trying," Ayame said, she didn't think there was anything to try where she and Koga were concerned.

"I know it hurts, but make him see you. I'm certain Kagome could take you on one of those torturous shopping expeditions of hers to make you noticeable, and Sango probably had a few lingerie suggestions," Rin informed her. Ayame laughed.

"Shopping isn't torture Rin," Ayame mused. Her friend frowned.

"It's the worst kind of torture, the never ending kind," Rin sighed.

"You're just too dramatic," Ayame countered.

"Am not, all those shoes! It was scarring," Rin informed her friend who was laughing as she looked down at Yuichi. Rin was so silly at times it reminded her that her friend was much younger than the rest of them. Rin was the youngest of their little group, Kagome had dragged her into the group. Rin didn't have the deepest ties to the group, Ayame, Sango, and Kagome had all met and moved in around the same time and became instant friends. Meeting and dragging Rin into their group had been a shock since they hadn't liked any other girls who had moved into the apartment complex. Then there had been Rin, but Ayame was certain Rin could make anyone love her. After all she had gotten Sesshomaru.

"So you think I got a shot at getting him?" Ayame asked seriously.

"No, but I think you have a shot at making him get you," Rin countered.

"What's the difference?"

"Lots apparently, though I'm not certain what the exact difference is." Ayame smirked at Rin's answer. Yuichi graced her with one of his rare giggles and smile and her smile bloomed from that.

"You know, them taking after their father makes their smiles all the more precious," Ayame informed Rin. It was when the pups grinned, giggled or smiled at people that they took after their mother. Ayame wondered if she had a cub if it would take after her or Koga, she hoped to see herself in her cub. Then again if Koga was the father there was a possibility the cub could turn into a total jackass, but if she was the mother she wasn't going to let that happen. None of her sons would be like their father if she had anything to do with it. They would be good men who treated women right, worked hard, and had values rather than goals to achieve by any means. Ayame picked up Koga's card again.

_-Ayame_

_-I'm coming after you, don't you go anywhere._

_-K_

Asshole, her mind repeated. She just sighed as she looked down at Yuichi. Perhaps she could find someone other than Koga and not have to worry about her cubs being complete and total assholes like their father. Then again she wanted Koga…

* * *

Koga was working on figuring out why Ayame hadn't called after their date. She should call, he wanted her to call, but he wasn't going to call her. He would not stoop to being the pleading one in this relationship, she'd come to him eventually but he had to entice her to him. It would take patience on his part.

He looked at his phone again. Took a sip of beer. Looked at the phone. Turned on the TV. Looked at his phone. Looked at the clock. Fuck it! Quickly he dialed his wife's number, a number he had memorized.

"What do you want Koga?" Ayame greeted him tersely.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanna go on another date?" he asked.

"When?" she asked.

"Two nights from now, at seven o'clock," he decided since there was nothing going on then.

"Fine, but if you're late or don't show—" she started in a low growl.

"Yea, yea, I know you're done with this," he grumbled.

"Glad we understand each other," Ayame said happily. "See you then," she hung up and he felt stupid. So he had stooped that low. Damn it.

* * *

**Hey, so I accidentally deleted Chapter 13 of To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor and I'm sorry about that! It was an accident on my part, sorry again.  
**

**Alright, so it's Thursday and as promised here's Trying Not to Murder Him's chapter!**

**My update list can be found with To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor.**

**This will possibly be updated Saturday.**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	7. Chapter 7

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 7**

Ayame was going on a run, alone with nothing more than herself and her iPod. Snug pants clung to her hips as she tugged her sports bra around herself as she went to hunt up her shoes. Pulling on her socks she hopped around looking for her sneakers, dragging them out from under her bed she pulled them on as she walked to the front door, pulled out her key, slid it into her pocket with her iPod after locking her door and ran.

Time alone was needed at the moment to think about what she had just agreed to with Koga. She also wanted to know why Koga wanted in her life. Kagome and Sango agreed, he was up to something. The only question was what did he want? Koga wasn't the most revealing of creatures where his intentions were concerned. All that was known was that he wanted her, but the question was what did he want from her? Did he really want her or did he want her to cut her off later, Ayame didn't think she could survive this either way. Being with him was becoming a heart ache for her, she just wanted to be happy and with him in her life that didn't seem possible. He seemed hell bent on keeping her.

But why?

What did she have to offer him? She had nothing left because he had done a damn good job of killing off everything within her. There was nothing left for her to give him when there was nothing left of her heart. So why did he want in her life again?

The first time they had a great thing going. They had been cubs, best of friends in so much trouble they had a tough time staying out of trouble. Then they had been preadolescents and they were growing into their instincts, true they had drifted apart a little but they were still tight. Then they had hit high school and everything had fallen apart, she had to be demanding to even have her friend, she had to be forceful to get his attention and she had to be something she never was. But that rift had been caused because of the impromptu engagement which her grandfather and his father had arranged. Much to her delight and Koga's irritation. He had shoved away from her then, and hurt her deeply for the first time.

But when they had gone off to college, they had drifted off without a word to each other. She had tried to reach out to him but he had shut her down, he had ignored her, then told her to go away and to leave him alone. So she had. Ayame had gone through school then med school without three words to Koga. She had done her residency while trying keep up her life and keeping up with his career as a cop, she had been proud of him. Then two years ago they had been married, she had been happy because she had loved him for so long and then it turned out marriage to him was hell.

Tears were flowing down her cheeks as she stopped running gasping for breath not because she was running but because the sobs were attacking again. Gods above was she pathetic, leaning on a nearby tree she looked up at the tangled branches as she tried to figure out what this meant for her life now. She bit her trembling lip as she stared at the leaves above her, she just wanted to be happy and loved. Was that really too much to ask for in life? Was it too much to hope for a life without being hurt all the time? She sucked in another shaky breath as she tried not to burst into hysterical sobs again.

She was so tired.

Just so tired of the pain. Of the disappointment. Of the hurting and aching and crying. This wasn't her! For the love of Kami this wasn't her, this wasn't who she was. She was strong, she was vivid, she was vital, she was happy, she was cheerful, she was bright, and she was loving. She was not this! Whatever this was it wasn't who she was. Not even after her parents had died had she been this, she had always been tough for her pack, her grandfather and for her parents. But now…now she was sniveling, little weakling who was clinging to a bit of hope so small it made microscopic look huge. And it was killing her.

Sighing as the tears slid down her cheek she looked from the leaves to the grass. She wanted to be her again, she was tired of being this. She was tired of Koga making her this. This was not her. And it was because of that horrible little speck of love, she wanted to destroy it because hope wasn't good it was painful. Especially for her at the moment, she just looked at the butterfly which fluttered around the flowers. Hope was strong, it was fragile, and it was deadly, for her though this could just kill her. She felt like a trampled butterfly, still pretty, still admired but battered and alone.

"Ayame!" she looked up at that voice and despite her best efforts to ignore it she felt the fluttering of her heart. She glared in retaliation to her heart's reaction to him.

"What do you want Koga?" Ayame asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She couldn't let him see her tears, so she turned away from him as she tried to walk away.

"Hey, will you quit trying to walk away? I'm talking to you." Koga grabbed her wrist and spun her around before she could stop her tears, she felt a few defiantly slip down her cheeks. "What happened? Who made you cry? I'll go beat him up," Koga growled out as he did something he had done as a kid and wiped her tears away.

"Stop touching me!" she snapped as she pulled herself from his grasp and furiously wiped the tears away. "A if you want to beat up the asshole who makes me cry you'll have to hire someone because you can't very well beat yourself up," she snapped. Honesty was her only weapon at the moment and she'd use it to hurt him. He had hurt her so much so he could suffer a little.

"What?" he looked baffled at her confession.

"Just forget about it Koga, what do you want?" she asked blinking furiously to stop her tears because she would not let him touch them or her heart or her again. She was done, she was looking into moving to the States to be rid of him so she could move on. There was nothing here for her and even her grandfather and friends had said go for it.

"Just came to ask you if you wanna try this new place that opened up," Koga said carefully. He took a step to her she took a step back. "I'm not going to hurt you Ayame," he promised.

"You could've fooled me," she informed him only to watch him flinch. Part of her regretted saying that and another part of her thought he deserved to know just what he had done to her. True Koga had never risen a hand to her or yelled at her or cheated on her (to her knowledge) but he had hurt her plenty in different ways.

"Ayame, I'm sorry," he admitted. She just stared at him.

"Why Koga, what did I ever do to you to deserve the cold shoulder? I just wanted to be happy! And to love you, I've always loved you and you acted like it was a sin against nature or something! So what did I do wrong? Why Koga? What the hell did I do?" she asked softly then turned away. "You'll get your dates, but I'm tired and I have work so I'm going home and changing. Have a good day and see you for our date," Ayame sighed as she jogged home.

Ninety-nine percent of life was surviving. The other one percent of living. She just wanted to live, she wanted to love and be loved in return but it seemed too much to hope for. Locking her door she walked to the shower, cleaned herself of her sorrows then tugged on her discarded scrubs before walking out of the apartment straight to her car. Driving to the hospital she thought about her rash move.

Jumping an ocean away to get away from Koga might not be the solution she needed. But it was what she wanted to do because she was tired of being this emotional wreck. This wasn't her!

Ayame pulled into the hospital parking garage then rested her head on the steering wheel. Perhaps she wouldn't go off to the States, though she wanted to. Perhaps she'd get over Koga by going on a few dates. Dr. Suikotsu had been asking her to go out for coffee with him. Perhaps she'd take him up on the offer since she was tired of her drama with Koga. Dr. Suikotsu was a nice guy, good with children and had talked about starting a family in his future. Perhaps he'd be a good candidate for her and her future. She and Dr. Suikotsu had lots in common after all and it would be nice to talk with someone who wasn't so self-absorbed they didn't notice the pain they were inflicting on those around them. She nodded her head then, she'd go for coffee with Dr. Suikotsu. And perhaps she'd stop loving Koga in the process.

* * *

Koga just stood there dumbfounded.

The last time Ayame had pulled away from him had been high school and she had caught him with a yōkai named Vixen. She had stumbled away from him and disappeared for a whole week, though when he thought back on it he saw what an asshole move that was now. But back then he had been hell bent on getting into Vixen's pants. Still it had been the only time Ayame had ran away from him.

Koga stared at his hand then, had he really hurt her that badly?

Her questions were also nagging him. Why hadn't he been involved with their marriage? Looking back on it there was no excuse he could think of that would justify brushing her off. And now he just looked like a asshole desperately clinging to a woman who was walking away; not that he could really blame Ayame for trying to walk away.

She had done nothing to deserve what he had inflicted upon her. It had been in his anger at being set up by his father and mother without his consent. He hadn't wanted to get married, but then they had set up his marriage to the one person who he cared about, Ayame, and Ayame had been so damn happy about the marriage while he was hurting…Koga sighed. He had been a selfish childish asshole. And in the end Ayame had been the one to suffer from his cruelty, his best friend and the only person he cared about and he had hurt her carelessly because he had been hurt about a good arrangement. Sighing he shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked back to his bike.

He'd make all the moves and he had a feeling Ayame was just going to watch him scramble around trying to re-earn the trust he had destroyed because of this arrangement. When they had been cubs they had been insperable, he had even promised to marry her once. He smirked at the old memory, he had made her a flower ring and promised her a candy ring when he saved up his allowence to buy one if she married him. Ayame had told him she'd marry him no matter what, 'cause she loved him.

Koga started up the engine on his bike.

He was going to make her love him again. He still loved her and after having finally being able to see past the hurt and anger of his arrangement he saw he loved her and had a good thing. Now the only real trick would be rebuilding said good thing. Ayame would be tough, she'd resist him, and she hurt him but he'd endure it because she had admitted she loved him.

She had always loved him.

He had always loved her, it had taken a fucking divorce paper though for him to realize he loved her. Koga wondered if she knew he hadn't filed that paper legally, true he had filed it but not where she wanted it to go. He shrugged, when she figured it out she'd come to kill him and then she'd know everything. Unless he admitted to everything sooner…

Either way she was his, and he loved her. But he wasn't letting her go again.

* * *

**Sorry NekoxUsa I'm tired and I'm lazy at the moment...  
**

**So here's the awaited Chapter 7 of Trying Not to Murder Him, I promise it's not going to stay this sad the entire story! In the next couple of chapters it'll heat up...but that's for the next few chapters.**

**Tonight's updates to come:**

**-Because I Love You**

**-To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor**

**That's all for tonight and for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	8. Chapter 8

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 8**

"So what are we doing Koga?" Ayame asked as she sat across from him at the restaurant he looked at her then.

"We are enjoying a civilized meal and going to discuss our marriage," he informed her coolly. Ayame felt herself burst into flames; figuratively speaking of course; at his arrogance of what he was saying.

"There is no more marriage between us Koga, I divorced you," she snapped firmly. So furious with his highhanded attitude she missed that devilish glint in his eye as he sat across her.

"Alright, how about we discuss retrying our relationship," Koga replied to which Ayame just glared at him as she set the menu aside gently so she didn't throw something at him. Her fingers itched to throw something at him.

"And why, on any sane planet, would I want to do that, Koga?" she asked carefully so she didn't throw something at him then. Though it was tempting her to leap across this table and throttle him for his stupid idea.

"Because you love me," he pointed out arrogantly which was another little jab to her bleeding heart. "And because I love you," now her heart stopped as she looked him over cautiously.

"No you don't, you're just saying it," she decided to be firm in this matter since this was Koga after all and he wasn't exactly the most loving man on the planet. If a mirror wasn't attached to it so he could see himself then he didn't care about it. The only creature Koga loved was himself, she wasn't about to be fooled by him twice.

"No, I'm not and I hope to prove it but for now I'll just settle with getting your company. I'm going to prove I mean it Ayame," he informed her seriously as he sipped the wine.

"Koga, you don't love anyone but yourself; I guess it's a part of your ego talking so I'll fall into this little trap or cause of yours and you'll leave me high and dry, again." Ayame knew this to be true and she also knew it hurt him when she had said it, he had even flinched a little at the truth of her words.

"I'm leaving you Ayame, I want to try again and I get that I've hurt you and it'll take time for you to trust me again but I'll work on proving this to you but for now will you give me a chance?" he asked earnestly. Part of her screamed no and to tell him to fuck off, while a different part of her whispered what was the harm in this arrangement.

"And if I say yes to you what do you want?" Ayame asked caution guiding her. Love had poisoned her and she would let it back in her life unless it was real this time around. She didn't have anything left to lose and she had nothing to gain from Koga's attempt to retry their being together.

"Nothing, I'll let you call all the shots and make all the moves, it's all you I just want a chance with you," Koga admitted. Ayame carefully sized up her opponent.

"It's all or nothing Koga, I want it all and if you can't give it to me now then just leave because I'm done being hurt by you. I'm done with being nothing to you, and I'm done with feeling like crap all the time because I don't know where we went wrong. I want it all or nothing, and it's that simple if you can't give it to me or won't give it to me then leave now so I can' go look for someone else." It was fair, and likely to send him running for the hills now that he'd realize she was serious in her wants. There was nothing she wanted more than him to love her, for real but if he couldn't give it all to her then she wanted him gone, out of her life, out of her world, out of her pack.

"Alright, where do we start?" Koga asked, there was a smirk on his lips.

"We're here for dinner," she pointed out as the waiter appeared with what they had ordered before they had started this talk. Ayame had asked to keep the menu mostly so she could hide behind it and ponder her desert options. But now the waiter took her shield from Koga as he left.

"So you'll give me a second chance?" he asked as he started cutting up his steak.

"Yes, but you won't get my heart Koga. Not unless you mean it," Ayame said seriously. He looked back at her with serious blue eyes.

"I'm serious," he assured her. Something which had been dead in her leapt for joy, another part of her was sharpening her swords for her defenses, she wouldn't succumb to him a second time. She'd fight to keep her heart.

Dinner was nice, even if part of her was on guard and the other part melting at having his attention. When the hell had she become so damn weak!? Oh wait…where Koga was concerned she would always be weak. So she drank a tad too much wine, and smiled a tad too much at the man who was her advasary, and found herself growing hot under his brilliant blue gaze. And when he was helping her out of her car to walk her back to her apartment something in her couldn't resist him as she leaned on him.

"It appears I'm a tad bit tipsy," Ayame giggled out as she looked up at Koga.

"So am I," he assured her with a crooked grin which only heated her body up. She wondered what he was doing to her but then again it was Koga and while he wasn't exactly her first he was the only one who had ever genuinely heated her up. Even that night long ago when he really had been her first. Ayame grinned at him as she pulled out her key at her apartment door.

"I had fun," she mused as she fumbled with the lock. Her body was heating up, she felt herself becoming aroused under his watchful gaze.

"Relax Ayame, I don't bite often," he whispered in her ear as he stilled her fumbling fingers and slipped her key into the lock. She glanced up at him.

"Why is it only you get me hot?" Ayame asked, internally cursing that third glass of wine.

"Because…" he trailed off as he leaned over her. "You love me," he whispered huskily in her elven ear, Ayame just frowned at him. Love had little to do with what she was feeling and the ache in her wanted him. He looked down at her.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

"I don't know, will you mean it?" Ayame asked, he said nothing then as he opened her door for her. His mouth crashed onto hers', something in her screamed no while her body reacted with an intensity which shocked her to her core. Her lips parted, her body pressed against his, her fingers dove into his black hair as she clung to him while his hands were pulling her closer to him. His tongue was exploring her mouth, he led them into her apartment as he shut her door and flipped her lock.

"I'll mean it and everything else," he promised as she just blinked up at him. She didn't want him to give her empty promises, but she didn't want him to leave her either. Instead she pulled his mouth back down to hers as she kissed him. She had dreamt of this moment for so long! Someone moaned, someone growled then there was a rip and her dress was sliding off of her. Her back slammed against a wall, she gasped as his claws sliced of her bra then her panties.

"Koga," she breathed as his mouth attacked her neck. She tilted her head a little to give him better access before he lifted her naked hips up, she wrapped her legs around his still clothed hips and her arms around his shoulders. He growled then as he moved her hips, true his jeans were still a barrier between them but she felt his arousal.

"I love you," he whispered as he carried her to her bedroom. Ayame said nothing as they fell onto the bed. She had nothing to say to him for if she told him then he could hurt her again, she wouldn't be hurt again. Instead she dragged him back down to her as she worked on getting his clothes off of him. The night would be long, it'd be heated and it'd be their last time. She knew come morning he'd be gone, something in her knew that and something else in her ached over knowing it. So she just kissed him as she rolled them over so she could be on top. She wanted to be in control for tonight; even if she was out of control. Ayame leaned down to kiss him as his knuckles brushed her while he fought to unbuckle his belt. She moaned and the night began for them.

"Ayame," he groaned out, she smiled at him as they moved throughout the night.

She woke in the morning, in her bed with a slight headache. Part of her was relieved she had the day off, her head was killing her. Rolling over she felt the warmth of a hard body and stopped moving, stopped breathing as she cracked a green eye to look up at a set of blue eyes watching her.

"Finally, you're awake!" he growled out before she found herself pinned under him again. "My turn to be on top," he growled out as he kissed her wildly, she groaned and melted.

It was around noon when she walked out of her room to see Koga shirtless in her tiny kitchen making them up coffee. Ayame carefully watched him as she sat down on her barstool to look at him. He glanced at her and gave her sneaky smile as he offered the coffee to her. Ayame took it cautiously as she watched him.

"Come on, I'm not going to murder your or something," Koga sighed at her cautious motions.

"I don't trust you," she informed him seriously which only had him frowning again.

"I don't deserve your trust after what I did but I'll work on earning it back, Ayame. I promise," he informed her as he tilted her chin back so she'd look at him. "I'm not leaving you yet."

"I'll believe that when I see it," she snorted as she got up then padded back to her room with the coffee. He walked up behind her his arms slid around her. She glared up at him.

"You'll see it," he promised as he kissed her temple. "I'm going undercover for a month, but call me. I'll call you if you don't," he warned her seriously. Ayame just spun around in his arms, almost spilling her coffee everywhere. She knew it! She had known it from the start! The bastard was here only for fun and games!

"You bastard!" she snapped at him. He kissed her seriously again as he pulled the coffee from her fingers.

"No, Ayame, I have a job to do but I'm not leaving you," he promised as he nipped her bottom lip. She felt like grabbing the coffee and throwing it in his eyes at what he had just announced to her after last night.

"You won't call, you won't tell me what's going on, and you won't even contact me when you're undercover so go to hell Koga!" Ayame lashed out at him.

"Ayame, I bought a burner for just you and me, I'll call you as often as I can; I promise."

"No you won't you're just saying that," Ayame grumbled as she walked to her bathroom to leave Koga behind but he followed her.

"I'm not and I'll prove it to you, just don't give up on me yet Ayame," he pleaded.

"If you're lying to me Koga, I'll butcher you," she warned seriously as she glared at him over her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her then as he kissed her temple, she felt his smirk then.

"I love you too," he mused as he guided her to the shower where she was pinned to the wall. She gasped at the water when he flipped it on then moaned at his touch. Damn him to hell! She hated him! But she loved what he was doing to her.

* * *

Koga left Ayame sound asleep with a note on his pillow as he pulled on his clothes before he left. He leaned over her, kissed her brow then hurried out. He hadn't marked her, he couldn't mark her while she didn't trust him and while his internal beast had screamed to lay claim to his mate he had resisted simply because he couldn't claim her while they were like this. He'd work on it. He had left her his number so she could get in touch with him. He just hoped she'd love him again as fully as she had as a child.

He had gotten himself in this mess so he'd be cleaning it up. And in the end he'd have Ayame again, he still loved her and she still loved him. But for now he'd work on building up her trust again. He drove to work to take on his assignment.

* * *

**I'm back! Though I never left, I've been busy lately and life keeps blowing up on me. Sorry but being a writer is hard and then you throw in life and it's a giant juggling act; though I feel like I'm juggling knives with all my writing, my fanfics, my reading, my life, and my social life. Everything is a balancing act I am still mastering...  
**

**Anyway this is the first chapter of today's updates for this, I put it up as a good faith gesture on my part.**

**There's four more chapters coming today; I'm working on them at the moment.**

**That's all for now folks, enjoy the start of my updates!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	9. Chapter 9

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 9**

Oh boy, Ayame thought miserably as she threw up for the fourth time this morning. To her this could mean one of two things, which since the second was not as likely as the first it had her pulling out her phone to text the only person she could think of to text at three in the morning. She got an answer too, much to her relief.

_-I'll be there in twenty_

Ayame was relieved when twenty minutes later there was a knock on her door. Groaning she hobbled over to the door and pulled it open. She stared at Rin who was standing there with the conveience store bags.

"How many did you buy?" Ayame asked looking at the bags as Rin walked in.

"For you, the three you asked for, for me about five because I need to make certain I'm not losing my mind," Rin informed Ayame as she walked to the fridge.

"What do I do Rin?" Ayame asked seriously as she looked at the boxes. She was terrified of what lay in the boxes but she wanted the answer and she wanted it now. Being a wolf she was relatively certain she wasn't ill with something as trivial as the flu but she had been so ill for the last week she had decided to check if it was possibly the other thing.

"We'll figure that out when we have answers," Rin assured her as Rin pulled out the eight boxes.

"You go first," Ayame insisted, Rin just sighed as she looked at Ayame.

"Are you really that scared?" Rin asked.

"Yes," Ayame whined out. If she was…she was terrified.

"Fine I'll go first," Rin said as she walked to the bathroom.

An hour later the girls were staring at the eight tests. Ayame just stared dumbly at her three while Rin just blinked at her five. Eight little + signs looked up at them, and the women just felt dumbstruck.

"Shit," Ayame muttered.

"You said it," Rin agreed, both still staring at their tests. Ayame sighed as she looked from the tests to her phone. Should she text the asshole who had gotten her in this mess or just ignore him for a day while she tried to figure out what to do? She chose the latter as she shut off the phone before he called her.

"How's Sesshomaru going to take this news?" Ayame asked seriously.

"Dunno, what about you and Koga?" Rin asked as she sat on the corner of the couch.

"I don't know, he just started trying again and if I tell him this…he'll run for the hills for sure," Ayame sighed as she lounged on the other corner of the couch.

"On the bright side your pregnancy won't be nine months," Rin pointed out Ayame just sighed.

"You're right, it's only twenty weeks rather than the human forty weeks." It was a small bright side in this matter but it was a bright side all the same, she only had to worry about her pregnancy for five months rather than nine or ten. Rin just sighed.

"Are you going to tell him?" Rin asked.

"Are you going to tell Sesshomaru?"

"Yeah, though he probably already knows," Rin grumbled and Ayame laughed then at Rin's disgruntled attitude over the matter. She just smiled at her friend.

"At least he's not about to bolt," Ayame pointed out.

"I think he's doing this on purpose now," Rin countered and both women were laughing.

Ayame smiled at Rin as she leaned back in her seat and envied her friend. No matter what she wouldn't abort the cubs, she wanted the cubs even if she couldn't have their father. But a part of her envied Rin, for part of Ayame's fantasy of a perfect family was being loved and cared about by the father of her cubs; and Rin had that in spades. Sesshomaru loved Rin and he loved his pack, something Ayame was certain he'd deny to his dying breath, but Koga…Koga didn't love anyone but himself and he wouldn't be happy about her pregnancy. He'd leave since it would require a commitment to her and he'd die if he had to commit to something other than a cause.

"You'll be fine, I'll help," Rin promised. "And I have a feeling Sango and Kagome will want in to help you," Rin patted her hand then. Ayame looked at her friend.

"You mean that?"

"You've got a friend for life in us. Besides, babies are hard to handle alone," Rin informed her. Ayame just sighed.

"True, and being a wolf I'm likely to be having two or three," Ayame admitted to Rin who just frowned then.

"Shit! I'm married to an inuyōkai!" Rin groaned as she fell back against the arm of the couch. "That bastard!"

"What'd he do?" Ayame asked.

"I'm not going to get a singleton pregnancy am I?" Rin asked seriously, Ayame thought back to her days in medical school about the lessons on the different breeds of yōkai and the lessons to learn about them.

"Not likely, but don't feel bad I'm not likely to get one either," Ayame said and both girls just groaned in future agony about what was to come. Ayame glanced at her phone then.

"Should I tell him?"

"He'll find out either way, might as well tell him," Rin pointed out and Ayame sighed in disappointment. But she picked up her phone, thanked all that was holy she had two weeks before Koga was done with his undercover thing and turned it on. Over the past two weeks she and Koga had kept in touch, though she had left it to Koga to call her and text her since she wanted him to pursue her; mostly to test him. She had a feeling he knew she was testing him but wasn't going to talk to him about it since that would mean opening up to him. Something she didn't want to do since it would make vulnerable with him.

_-We need to talk_

_-Alright, when?_

_-When you get home. A serious talk, Koga._

_-Just name the time and place_

_-Talk to you then_

Ayame hung up the phone as she talked with Rin for another hour before Rin received a text from Sesshomaru. They both laughed over the content of the message but Rin collected up her five pregnancy tests before walking out of the apartment to leave her alone. Ayame just stared down at the three tests and wondered what god she had irritated as of late to deserve this punishment. Wrapping around herself she stared down at the tests, she loved the cub(s) in her but she wasn't certain how Koga would take this…

If he didn't hate her now he just might when this was all said and done. Ayame stared at the tests as she contemplated her options. She could run, but she'd likely be found out by her pack or Koga. She could hide at Sesshomaru's but she had a feeling Sesshomaru wouldn't tolerate her invading his territory even if she was a friend of Rin's. The final option seemed to be her only option because she wouldn't be aborting this pregnancy. She'd have to tell Koga and let him decide on if he wanted in on this mess or not. If he said no she'd be gone, she'd disappear so well no one could find her and raise her baby with joy and happiness rather than with a selfish ass of a father who only thought of himself. Ayame bolted for the bathroom to heave her insides out and cursed Koga the entire time.

* * *

His first reaction when his phone beeped at four in the morning was to curse the asshole who had dared to text him since he was working and trying to sleep before resuming the work. It was a sting operation one which was getting him in play to make a major move against the notorious arms dealers; Kaijinbō. But then Koga had seen who was texting him and nearly leapt for joy. At least until he read the seriousness in what Ayame was texting him. He had been calling her every couple of days and texting her daily, he was trying to take it seriously and let her make the moves but he grew tired of being the only one making the moves.

But he wasn't going to complain.

Ayame hadn't tossed him out on his head so he would let her decide how their relationship would go. Which when he thought back on their first round he decided was plenty fair, for it was only when he looked back on it that he realized he had treated her like crap. He deserved whatever she decided for him, it had shocked him to get that night and day with her, not that he was complaining. It had been that night he remembered what he had let slip through his fingers.

Once upon a time he and Ayame actually loved one another, he remembered their first time ever. He hadn't had a clue what he was doing, though he had claimed otherwise and she had been sweet and innocent. The other night hadn't been like their first night. She hadn't trusted him, and he was trying to earn it back. So to see she had texted him first for a change had just about made him leap for joy, now after having read those texts he was worrying about what this could mean. If she dumped him now…he'd deserve it but he'd regret everything to the point of it could kill him.

Ayame deserved happiness, she deserved to believe she was loved and if she couldn't find that with him then he'd smile and say alright so as to let her go. Kami knew he had done a number on her and if she wanted to leave him; while he'd be hurting; he'd let her go because he didn't deserve her. But now he worried she was going to dump him, the tone of those few texts had him worrying as he got out of his bed to pace around the crummy flat he was staying in because it was in the budget.

He leaned on the counter while he thought of what she could want to talk about, nothing came to mind since he hadn't said anything to worry or hurt her as of late. Though he wasn't certain about that, he wished vainly he knew for certain what he and Ayame were going through and when and how he made her feel. The only feelings she expressed to him was a borderline hatred and pain, both of which he knew he only had to blame himself for. Koga looked at the phone and wondered what Ayame wanted to talk about.

* * *

"Are you certain about this Ayame?" Shiori asked carefully as they sat in the observation room.

"No, but if I am pregnant I want to know how many, and far along I am," Ayame insisted as she got situated on the examination table.

"You're not going to be mad?" Shiori asked for clarification.

"Not at you when I asked you to do this," Ayame assured her friend as Shiori shrugged. They started the appointment, Ayame stared at the ceiling and wondered what she was going to do. Then she heard it, something of a heartbeat. The same heartbeat she had been hearing within herself, and now it was amplified so she could make out four distinct heartbeats. She looked at the scream.

"Congrats, it appears you're having a litter," Shiori informed Ayame who stared at the screen. There were four distinct embryos in her, Ayame blinked at the screen then. True for a wolf yōkai this was a small litter but now she was terrified of what was to happen to her as she stared dumbly at the screen. An overwhelming warmth of love bubbled up from within her dead heart as she stared at the screen, she loved them all.

"Print me the image," Ayame said to Shiori who did as she was instructed after pulling the probe out of Ayame. Ayame stared at the image for a moment.

"You know what this means right?" Shiori asked as Ayame got dressed again.

"Yeah, I've got to talk to the father next," Ayame muttered as she pulled on the scrubs again. Her fingers brushed the firmness under her skin between her hips. So she was having a litter…

Koga just might faint.

An evil smile spread on her lips at the thought, he'd faint or yell at her but either way she'd be pregnant and he was the father. She wondered how Koga would take to that kind of commitment. After all marriage had been hard enough for him, but what about parenthood? Marriage was nothing compared to parenthood and she would not let anyone hurt the four lives growing within her. If Koga took this news poorly…he was gone. She'd snip him out of her life with minimal effort an fuss. She could take being hurt, being heartbroken but she wouldn't let this litter suffer from his selfish ways. They were innocent lives after all and that meant they had her protection not just as their mother but as an alpha female.

After she told Koga, and knew what he was going to do then she'd tell Chōrō. He'd probably be thrilled and eager to help her out. Ayame walked with Shiori back to work.

* * *

**The ultimate commitment test if you ask me... **

**Here's the second chapter of the promised five!**

**The rest is coming!**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him!=)**

**I'm off to write up more of it!**


	10. Chapter 10

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 10**

"Hey Ayame," he greeted as he walked into the café she had picked for their little meeting because she was not being dumped in her own apartment; that just wasn't happening. That and being a public place was safer for Koga, four weeks pregnant for her was about the same as three months for a human and her hormones were wild. At least if she was in a public place she wasn't as likely to kill him verses being at her place or his place.

"Koga," she greeted curtly as he hurried over to sit across from her.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he asked, sounding almost out of breath. Part of her hoped he was worried and had run here but more than likely that wasn't the case. Though he was here a good ten minutes early.

"I'm pregnant," she said calmly only to watch his eyes bug out as he stared at her.

"Are you certain?" he asked, she was tempted to tell him that was a stupid question but didn't say anything as she bet back over her bag to pull out one of the sonogram images she had gotten during the last two weeks. He just stared at the images.

"Wow," he breathed, she was watching him closely though as her hand rested on the protruding bump she was hiding under a loose shirt.

"Yeah, wow," she agreed dreamily though she was prepared to run from Koga. His blue eyes glanced up at her then.

"We only had that one day though," he said cautiously and she lifted her brow at Koga.

"Unlike you Koga I don't suffer from commitment issues," she growled out dangerously only to receive a steely glare from him. She'd challenge him if he dared to call her a cheater or a liar, she wasn't like him and she was faithful to her partners. Even if they were total assholes.

"I wasn't saying you cheated, Ayame, I was just amazed," Koga snarled out at her. She felt like storming off before she gouged out his eyes with her claws for the glare he was giving her. Damn horomones were driving her to the fucking wall! She glared at the growing bump as she sat there.

"How many are in there?" he asked seriously, she looked at the image he was looking at then with a faint smile on her lips.

"This is one, so far he's the biggest," Ayame pointed to the largest cub. "This is two, and from the ultra sound images I've seen him fighting with one," she pointed to the cub below the largest cub. "This is three, and the smallest of them," Ayame pointed to the cub who was hiding at the top of the image. "And this is four, the third largest of the four," she pointed to the cub at the bottom of the image.

"Wow, small litter," he commented on.

"I know, but I like it being small, being one of eight is traumatizing," Ayame admitted. Though that had all been before that night but that was in the past.

"Tell me about it, I was the eldest of six," Koga sighed and Ayame chuckled then as she remembered growing up before that night. For ookami having less than five cubs in a litter was unusual. So as Ayame looked lovingly at her picture of the four cubs within her.

"Yeah, good times," Ayame mused over her past as she sat there with her hand on her growing bump. She felt the smile tugging on her lips until she looked up at Koga who was looking at her with a slight smile on his lips. Her smile retracted.

"What is it?" he asked seriously.

"Simple, I'm going to give you two options now Koga and depending which one you chose will determine the permanent course of our relationship because we're not going to do this dance when I have the cubs." She informed him seriously. These past couple of weeks without him had given her a lot of time to think. A lot of time. Ayame stared at Koga seriously then as he looked curiously at her. Her fingers rested on her bump.

"Alright, I'll do this your way Ayame," he promised as he looked her in the eye.

"Good, your two options are simple with me now Koga. Either you're all in or you're out because I'm not going to do this dance with you with these cubs. They'll be the ones hurt when this is all said and done and I'm not going to let you hurt them. I can take it but they're innocent and do not deserve what neglect you'll inflict upon them." She had thought long and hard about her future now that there was a litter of cubs hanging in the balance of whatever she decided. And though Ayame didn't like heart break she could take it, innocent cubs couldn't take it and it wasn't something they were supposed to take.

"I'm in," he said without hesitation which had Ayame tilting her head skeptically. "I'm not quitting on retrying us and I'm sure as hell not quitting on being there for you or them," Koga said seriously.

"It's not going to be easy, and you can't walk away just because the going gets tough," Ayame said firmly as she folded her arms to glare at him. She was going to make him seriously think about this so he wouldn't leave half way through this mess.

"I'm not leaving you Ayame," he promised again. Part of her believed him, but the hurting part of her was preparing for war to keep herself and her cubs in tact after Koga realized he was taking on responsibilities and not fun and games.

"I'll believe that when I see it," she grumbled and he lifted a brow at her.

"You just live to make things difficult don't you?" Koga demanded hotly.

"No, I just happen to be pregnant with my ex-husband's cubs after having finally divorced him!" Ayame snapped sharply at him to receive a glare in retaliation.

* * *

"I signed the papers Ayame, but they're filed in my shredder," he finally revealed his secret which only had her gaping at him.

"You did what!?" she screeched at him

"I sent those damn papers through the shredder," he informed her seriously, she was now glaring furiously at him. Honestly he was surprised he didn't experience some form of spontaneous combustion from his wife's glare at the moment.

"_**You-you-you son of a bitch!**_" she screamed which had the entire café looking at them. Not that he cared as Ayame got started on her little rant at him. "_**I can't believe you did that to me! I filed for divorce to get rid of you but you just put it in the shredder! ACHK! I'm going to Rin's!**_" she screeched as she leapt to her feet he followed her. Grabbing her wrist once they were on the street she spun around to slap him.

"Go ahead, Ayame," he growled down at her as his cheek began to throb. "But you are still my wife, you and I finally consumated the marriage, and you are carrying my cubs. I'm not going anywhere."

"Firstly I'm your ex-wife because I'm refiling for that damn divorce because when you split I won't let you take my cubs. Secondly we weren't married when we had sex last month! And thirdly they're mine, not yours, you just happen to be the sperm donor," she snapped at him. It was a little stab to him but a jab he could live with.

"You can file for the divorce again but I'll just file it away in my shredder, we have been married for nearly three years and you are now technically my wife, and thirdly you and those cubs are my pack; I'm not going to leave you," he repeated for what felt like the umpteenth time today since she had announced the damn pregnancy. "You're stuck with me for life," he informed her seriously then a cold look took over her emerald eyes making him think she had something she would use to escape him.

"I may be your wife, but we don't have any bond, I'm not your mate nor will I ever be!" she snapped at him as she yanked herself from his grasp then stormed to her car. He let her go because his internal beast was demanding he mark her then and there. If he did that then Ayame really would never forgive him, and he wanted to stay with her so badly. Instead he found standing in the street like an idiot as he watched his wife drive off to willingly go hang out at that mutt's house. Part of him demanded he chase after and another part of him demanded he challenge the mutt for his mate.

Koga turned on his heels and carefully made his way to his bike to ride home. He was tired of Ayame being able to make all of her little jabs to his heart. But he deserved them, when he looked back on his marriage to her for the past two years he really had done a number on her. He'd be the first to admit he didn't deserve Ayame but for some reason he couldn't let her go. When he had first received those divorce papers he had been relieved, then he had been confused and then he had been furious. She shouldn't leave him because she was his.

Revving up his engine he rode to his house to ponder his next moves with Ayame. He'd have to ensnare her and make her believe he was serious about loving her before she gave birth. The problem was that was now, by his calculations, four months away.

Instead of heading to his house he found himself in front of the house Ayame had driven to. He saw the silver mutt open the door then golden eyes glare coldly at him before Ayame disappeared inside the house. Koga pulled his bike around the corner before he got off of it then hurried to the back wall of the mansion Ayame had walked into. Leaping onto the back wall he looked down at the beautiful garden and wondered where the hell Ayame was on these grounds.

Lightly dropping into the bushes he tried to sneak through the garden.

Then there was a low, feral growl behind him which had him stopping in his tracks. Not much in Koga's life had ever scared him but there was something about this growl which had him stopping in his tracks. He turned slowly to face the growler while his heart rammed in his ribs.

* * *

"_**I'M GOING TO MURDER HIM!**_" Ayame declared as she stormed into Rin's house, her friend was currently hanging over a toilet. "You want in?" Ayame asked Rin who looked groggily up from the toilet.

"I want to get past my first trimester and then I'll help you kill Koga," Rin groaned out as she sat back. Ayame looked down with a five month old pup on wobbly legs walked into the bathroom where his mom was. Ayame looked at Yuichi who stared up at her with wide amber eyes, she melted as she sat down on the floor and scooped up the pup into her arms. Seriously!? How on earth did Yuichi and Tsukiko do that!? They just looked at you and all anger flooded out of you. Ayame watched Tsukiko crawl onto her mother's lap then and look at her with wide blue eyes.

"Alright, did you know he put the divorce papers through the shredder?" Ayame asked seriously, Rin cracked an eye at her.

"He did what?" Rin asked as she scratched her daughter's floppy silver ear, Tsukiko leaned into the scratch so Ayame did the same to Yuichi's pointy black ears, he leaned into the scratch too.

"Yeah, he sent them through the shredder after he signed them so we're not divorced because he never filed them! I knew I should've check them!" Ayame snarled out then Yuichi looked up at her with wide amber eyes and she forgot her anger again. "Seriously, how do they do that?"

"Do what?" Rin asked tiredly.

"Look at you and make all anger or pain disappear?" Ayame explained seriously.

"Dunno, they're father has that ability too," Rin mumbled as she held her pup and leaned against the wall. Ayame snorted. The only trait their father had for certain; to her knowledge; was the ability to strike mortal terror into even the most feared of daiyōkai. Rin really didn't understand the power Sesshomaru held and wielded because she was Rin. But even Ayame knew Sesshomaru was the meanest daiyōkai ever born and perhaps the coldest. So how his pups turned out so cute was beyond Ayame but since Rin appeared too weak at this moment she didn't argue with Rin.

"You're just too cute for your own good," she informed Yuichi who stared up at her with wide, blank amber eyes. "And sadly you appear to be taking after your father."

"Ugh, too much like their father," Rin moaned which had Ayame laughing.

"But seriously, you want to help me get rid of Koga?" Ayame asked as she continued to scratch the pup's ears.

"After my first trimester."

"I'm so glad my first 'trimester' is in a month."

"Don't rub it in or else I'll murder you," Rin grumbled as she moved her pup to duck her head into the toilet again. Ayame just sat with her friend and attempted to comfort Rin.

* * *

**So tell me what you think so far. I've got two chapters to go on this; this story's no where near done but the five chapters I promised are almost finished. I'd like some info on how you're liking or not liking this.  
**

**Chapter three of five; two to go!**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)  
**


	11. Chapter 11

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 11**

The growl had him turning around to scramble away from the biggest, meanest looking dog he had ever seen. The dog had brilliant yellow eyes, brown and black fur and his lips drawn back to reveal the sharpest set of teeth Koga had seen on any animal and he was a wolf so he had seen some pretty sharp fucking teeth but none like these. The dog snarled as he stalked forward, Koga stared at the dog then glanced over his shoulder when a twin appeared snarling like the other. He got to his feet and prepared for a fight against these damn dogs, he'd kill them if he had to. Koga felt his tail twitch both in fear and in anticipation as the dogs circled him waiting to attack. Then the silver figure appeared he had two sheathed swords at his side as he looked at down at Koga.

Though Koga was no short man he was nowhere near the height of the daiyōkai before him. The creature had two magenta stripes on his cheeks, he had a crescent moon in the center of his forehead along with a piercing amber gaze. Koga stared at the inu daiyōkai.

"And who the hell are you?" Koga demanded hotly. The stranger said nothing as he stood there glaring coldly at him. Wait, Ayame had said something about that mutt Taisho being mated to one of her friends. "You're that Sesshomaru guy aren't you?" Koga guessed.

The silver man said nothing as he stood there glaring coldly at Koga.

"What do you want mutt?"

"What are you doing here?" a cold, indifferent baritone voice asked him which sent a shiver down Koga's back. The dogs were still growling at him but they now stood by the silver man who was glaring at him still.

"None of your business, mutt," Koga snapped only for Sesshomaru to draw a sword then. The dog said nothing as he held the sword in his hand. Koga eyed the silver dog wearily for something in him whispered the dog was a far more dangerous opponent than he wanted to fight.

"What are you doing here?" Sesshomaru repeated. Koga eyed the sword being held steady by the dog.

"I'm here for my wife," Koga answered, Sesshomaru sheathed his sword though it did not relax the dogs who stood by their master then. Koga saw it then, the reason so many feared Sesshomaru, he was cold and willing to kill; Koga hadn't seen that look in but a few criminals' eyes. There had been a few hit men Koga had collared who had had the same look in their eyes, the look of nothing and coldness.

"You'd be Koga," Sesshomaru said as a fact rather than a guess; much to Koga's shock.

"Yes?" he answered cautiously.

"You want to collect your wife," Sesshomaru stated again.

"No!" Koga shook his head vehnemently then, if Ayame knew he was here she really just might kill him! Sesshomaru lifted a brow at him then. "I'm spying on her," Koga grumbled. The dog looked irritated then at his answer then. But he was a wolf and didn't really feel the need to elaborate on what he was doing. Then again the way this dog was looking at him with his two dogs beside him Koga decided elaborating might be good for his health and possible life expectancy.

"We're fighting, we're not on the best of terms and I was curious why she kept coming here. I didn't mean to trespass or anything but she is my wife and I was curious why she kept coming here so I followed her and decided to spy for a bit. I'm not here to harm you or your pack."

"If you were do you really think you'd still be breathing." Koga stared at those cold amber eyes and saw it then, the killer hiding in the silver creature.

"No," Koga admitted.

"Hn," was the silver man's answer then a jerk of his head. The dogs followed their master and Koga had a feeling he should follow Sesshomaru.

Just what was this guy's problem? Koga wondered as he followed him through this jungle of a garden, the dog never turned around once to see if he was still following or about to attack. Part of him wondered if the dog was just that trusting or if the dog was really just that dangerous. Not something he really wanted to find out. Koga had seen the photos of that man Kohaku and what was left of Kohaku's corpse; those poison claws had melted away a good portion of that man's body away. That hadn't been his case then but all the same he had been asked a few questions about the abilities of daiyōkai, though honestly Koga had no clue what daiyōkai were truly capable of he was relatively certain Sesshomaru was far more dangerous than the world knew. Probably even more dangerous than him with his whole pack backing him.

"Stay away from Rin," Sesshomaru growled out as he left Koga then. Koga peeked through the bushes then to see Ayame helping a small woman with black hair down the stairs into the yard. He stared as Ayame settled the woman then dissappeared only to return with a pup on her hip. Sesshomaru appeared again with a different pup.

"How come she doesn't like anyone but you or Rin?" Ayame demanded of Sesshomaru who lifted a brow at her.

"Because, Tsukiko is daddy's little girl," the woman teased, Sesshomaru handed the silver bundle to the woman then. Koga guessed that was Rin. Then Sesshomaru disappeared in a ball of energy.

"Where's he going?"

"Who knows, he disappears all the time," Rin shrugged as she held her pup.

"Aren't you worried about him cheating?" now the Rin girl laughed and Koga just about fell out of his spot when Sesshomaru reappeared.

"You've seen your wife now leave," Sesshomaru snarled out looked dangerous then. Koga was quick to follow orders then for he didn't want to tangle with the daiyōkai.

* * *

Ayame leaned back against the tree next to Rin as they awaited the arrival of Kagome and Sango so Ayame could explain her situation to them. And they'd possibly plan Koga's tragic, but mysterious disappearance because Ayame was going to kill him! Rin sat there playing with her daughter while Ayame tried not to be Yuichi's chew toy. Apparently the pup was teething.

"Hey, what was so urgent?" Kagome appeared then.

"Yeah, I had to cancel practice to come here," Sango agreed as she walked down to them. Ayame stared at her friends and felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"My turn, I wanna hold Yuichi," Kagome snatched up the pup before Ayame could warn her he was teething but the pup just stared solemnly up at his aunt.

"No fair, I'm next," Sango announced as she flopped down in the grass with them.

"Alright," Kagome agreed. "So Ayame what was the big news?"

"Rin's pregnant," Ayame blurted out which had Rin snapping to attention and the other two girls melting at the news.

"Really!? When's the due date? What are you having? How far along are you? Can we still be aunts? How did Sesshomaru take the news? When did you find out?" Kagome and Sango began, Rin glared at her.

"Cheater," Rin grumbled at her.

"Sorry," Ayame lied, she wasn't looking forward to her half of this talk.

"Yes I'm pregnant, I'm due in seven months, I'm having three, I'm roughly nine weeks, you're all still aunts to my kids, Sesshomaru already knew, and I found out the same night Ayame found out she was pregnant!" Rin announced, Ayame glared at her friend when she became the center of Kagome and Sango's attentions.

"Traitor," Ayame grumbled to Rin who glared back.

"So who's the father? How far along are you? When's the due date? What are you having? Can we still be aunts? When did you find out? And how'd the lucky father take it?" Kagome and Sango started in on her, Ayame at Rin who smirked as she played with her daughter who giggled then.

"The father's Koga, I'm a month and I'm due in four months, I'm having four, you're still aunts, I found out when I was sick two weeks back, and apparently Koga and I are still married. He announced this when I announced I was pregnant," Ayame grumbled.

"Start from the beginning," Sango ordered and Ayame did. Again. She started from the very beginning of her marriage to Koga, to their divorce, to their split, to his attempt at a second try, to her night with him, and then her pregnancy.

"That asshole," Sango muttered.

"I don't know I've got a feeling this isn't all bad," Kagome admitted thoughtfully which had all of them looking at Kagome.

"Why do you say that?" Rin asked the question Ayame knew they were all thinking about.

"Because he's trying, that's not something a guy does unless he cares. And since he didn't file the divorce papers I'm guessing he still likes you or at the most loves you. It's not often you get a second chance with the man you love. Especially when the first go was like yours." Kagome said seriously.

"Kagome, he doesn't love me, he loves having a cause to pursue and sadly I'm it at the moment." Ayame informed Kagome seriously as she leaned back against the tree. She just stared up at the tangled branches above her.

"Stop thinking about the past, Ayame." Kagome snapped at her which had Ayame glaring back at her friend.

"I'm being real Kagome, he's going to freak and leave me high and dry again. It'd be best to just cut my loses now." Ayame admitted seriously as she sat there glaring at her friend.

"Oh _**pa-leez**_! You need him, you just don't like it and I don't blame you after what he's don't but be real. Did he freak when you announced you were pregnant?"

"No."

"Has he faltered once in this pursuit of his?"

"No."

"And has he said anything about leaving you?"

"No."

"And he said he loved you?"

"Yes?"

"That's not an questionable answer Ayame, it's either yes or no," Kagome said coldly.

"Yes he's said he loves me," Ayame conceded.

"Then stop fighting it and try it again. And if he hurts you…well help you hide the body." Kagome promised which had all four women smiling. At least she had friends she could rely on in life, even when life got hard and heavy on her. She looked at her three friends and at the two pups who were crawling towards their mother who was falling asleep and felt cherished. They all seemed to like her and love her and care for her, and they all seemed so happy for her how could she not be happy about this? Kagome and Sango were already making plans as the honorary aunts of her cubs.

When Sesshomaru finally scared them off so he could collect his family Ayame was ready to go home. She pulled up to her building alone since Kagome had gotten called in by Inuyasha; again; and Sango had gone off for a night out with a few coworkers of hers. Ayame walked up to her apartment to see Koga there waiting for her.

"Hey," he greeted her casually.

"Hey yourself," she said carefully as she stared at him. Her hand rested on her growing bump as he leaned against the wall staring at her.

"Can we talk?" he asked seriously.

"Depends, is it a real talk or a Koga talk?" Ayame asked, he blinked at her then.

"A real talk. What the hell's a 'Koga' talk?" he demanded sharply, Ayame just stared at him.

"A Koga talk is where you give dictations and ignore my opinions," Ayame answered honestly to see him flinch at her answer.

"A real talk then," he said seriously.

"Fine," she walked to the door and opened it. He followed in, she shut the door behind him when his mouth crashed onto hers and his fingers tnagled in her hair while his hands held her head to him gently. Ayame didn't fight the kiss as she melted into him, her hands clutched his shirt.

"I thought you wanted to talk," she breathed when his lips traveled down to her neck.

"Later," he answered as he lifted her up.

* * *

**Yep chapter four of five, tomorrow morning when I update To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor the fifth owed chapter of this will come. Sorry but I got sidetracked and have only half of it written at the moment and I'm falling asleep as I post this so I'm going to bed. Sorry folks but I'm only human and am not pulling an all-nighter because I'll murder someone tomorrow if I do.**

**The updates haven't changed at all, if you want my list then go to To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor chapter 24 or 25, I'm not certain at this moment since I'm not looking at it at this moment. Yep, lots of writing to do and finish and I'm enjoying it!**

**This story isn't done yet folks, so don't panic I'm not about to leave it hanging. But some feedback on how Ayame and Koga are doing at this moment would be nice because I seriously have no idea what I'm doing with characters like them, I've never created or written about characters like them so this is a bit of a challenge for me. Sesshomaru and Rin...so much easier, for me at least.**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Chapter 12 will be here tomorrow morning with To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	12. Chapter 12

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 12**

Ayame lay there staring out her apartment window at the brightly light city with Koga's arm around her and him holding her. A small part of her, a part of her she was beginning to genuinely hate, loved him holding her like this while another part of her wished he didn't so it didn't hurt so much when he left her, and he would leave her. Of that Ayame had no doubt despite what Kagome had preached this afternoon. So she just stared out the window so she didn't look at him so she didn't have another memory to hurt her later after he was gone.

"Ayame," he started but she didn't dare to look at him as she stared ahead. "Will you please look at me?"

"What is it Koga?" Ayame asked carefully trying herself from him as she turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry, I mean it," he informed her as he traced her cheek. "I was mad, I was hurt, and I was pissed at everyone for being in an arranged marriage. I was selfish, I was mean, I was an ass, and I was taking everything out on you when you were in the same situation as I was. The only difference is you wanted to be married, and I'm sorry about that."

"Why?" she asked cautiously, a part of her was celebrating over what he was telling her while the part of her which was hurt and guarding her heart was standing ready to slice him to pieces as she lay there with him.

"Remember when we were cubs and we were best friends, neck deep in trouble and mischief?" she nodded because honestly it was those memories which had kept her sane through their marriage and his hatred of her. "Well I forgot about it," he admitted.

"How could you forget about it?" Ayame demanded sharply as she glared at him.

"Easy, I was sixteen when I landed in an arranged marriage with the one person I considered a friend and was pissed off about it. You were the only one outside of my pack I trusted and considered a friend and it meant a lot to me. Then my parents arranged this marriage and I was pissed at everything. I'm sorry you were the only one hurt in this arrangement in the long run," he informed her. Ayame stared at his blue eyes then gave in against her better judgment.

"I wanted to marry you since we were cubs, I loved you so much then and when we became engaged I was happy, but you acted like I was cursed then. A sorry won't cover what you've done to me," Ayame informed him seriously. For a part of her, a very tattered part of her still loved him unconditionally but another part of her; the battered part of her wouldn't give him anything more to hurt. She wouldn't survive him a second time, she knew this for if he killed what was left of her loving ability she really would only be able to hate.

"I know, but I'd still like us to try again," he informed her again.

"So you've said but it seems we only do things on your terms Koga," Ayame grumbled as she sat up pull the sheet with her as she got up. "Everything is always done how you want it, and that isn't what marriage is about."

"I figured," Koga said as she walked into her small closet to get some clothes on her body; at least she didn't have to worry about getting pregnant now. Koga had taken care of that their first time together in years, Ayame sighed as she walked to the bathroom to pull her tangled red hair up. Walking out she leaned on the doorframe.

"You can want a second chance Koga but until you prove to me you deserve it I'm not saying yes or no to you. But know this, the next time I give you divorce papers and you send them through the shredder I'm sending you through the shredder," she snarled out seriously. He merely gave her a baleful blue stare in return. Ayame wondered why he had sent the papers through the shredder but didn't think to hard about it since he was sitting, naked in her bed.

"Then I suggest you don't send them to me," he informed her seriously as she walked carefully to him.

"I'll think about it, but if you fuck this up again Koga I'm done. This is your second and final chance because I don't repeat my mistakes three times. And if you do fuck up I'm not letting you hurt my cubs," she informed him seriously as she leaned over him. He looked up at her with serious blue eyes and she wondered what was going through his mind.

"Alright, because I'm not screwing up a second time," he informed her as he pulled her down to him. "I love you," he whispered. She didn't answer him, but he didn't seem to need her answer as he kissed her then dragged her down onto the bed as his hands snaked under her clothes. Ayame didn't mind surrendering to him but she would give up her heart.

* * *

They sat outside the apartment building seeing Koga with a redhead ookami.

"Hey boss, yeah we got him. You want us to snatch him up?" the minion asked as he talked to the boss on the phone.

"No leave him, we need to hurt him not maim him." The boss explained darkly.

"Right boss, it appears he has a lover; wanna use her?"

"Not at the moment, watch her though. She could prove useful to hurt him."

"Right boss, we'll watch her."

"Good, don't move on him though. If he finds out we're watching him he could just disappear; again." With that the boss hung up and the minion looked at his partner.

"Looks like we'll be here a while." He informed his partner as they looked at the building.

* * *

Koga kissed Ayame's brow before he left her with a note and the promise to return that night to take her to dinner before he walked out of her apartment down the stairs, to his bike then rode off to work. They'd need to start thinking about their future, and she'd need a house rather than an apartment for four cubs and however many more he got from her. He wasn't going to be an idiot twice in his life so he rode to work. He caught sight of a care tailing him and ducked into traffic.

What the hell was this!?

The car followed him.

* * *

**The plot thickens...  
**

**Alright so I read what I had from last night this morning after I took care of my dogs and ate breakfast and decided it wasn't half bad. A little short but not bad, I'm posting it as is because a few chapters in the future will be longer than this. The plot is thickening but you'll just have to wait and see how it plays out for now. Now back to my updates:**

**Today's plans are after I give you the owed chapter of To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor I'll give you three chapters of 36 Weeks &amp; Counting with two chapters of A Day in the Life of Kagome &amp; Inuyasha.**

**Tomorrow you'll get another chapter of To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor and five of Because I Love You.**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him!**


	13. Chapter 13

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 13**

Ayame was certain someone was going to die, though who she wasn't certain as she moved into hers' and Koga's new house. If he took one more box from her grasp and continued to treat her as an invalid she'd kill him. Ayame walked to her room, because there was no way she was sharing a room with Koga until he had proven he was staying around, and began unpacking her things. Koga walked in then, looked around as he did so and she decided ignoring him was her best course of action.

"So this is how it's gonna be," he grumbled, she glared up at him.

"Yes Koga, this is how it's going to be until you prove to me you mean this," Ayame snapped at him. He just frowned but she decided to continue to ignore him as she put away her things.

"Need any help?" he asked.

"No." She did not want him dealing with her things because then she'd get her hopes up and she didn't think she could handle that being pregnant at the moment. Damn hormones were going to drive her over the edge!

"Ayame this is only going to work if you try to work with it," Koga pointed out. She gave him a baleful stare since she had no retort to that. Though she knew that she hated having him pointing it out after everything; and she did mean everything; he had put her through. But she was trying to move forward with him but it wasn't easy. Trusting him again, it wasn't easy. Still she was trying and him pointing out when she wasn't trying wasn't helping her in trusting him. He looked down at her, and she fought of the insane desire to throw herself at him and have wild celebratory sex because he had decided they should live together, damn hormones!

"I know that Koga, and I'm trying but rather like a kicked dog I'm skeptical about if you've changed," she said coldly as she picked up her box of clothes and carried it over to her closet. She felt him watching her.

"Ayame, I'm trying here," he sighed. She peeked at him.

"I know," she admitted as she disappeared into her closet. She hadn't exactly given him the boot up the ass he deserved but she hadn't turned him into her Prince Charming. The reality of life was not how Disney portrayed it. The truth was just because happily ever after started didn't mean it stayed happily ever after, it took work and she was working hard at her happily ever after again. Just because the world declared the marriage compatible did not mean it stayed that way without work. And after all the smashing, hammering and pain Koga and she had inflicted upon one another; for she doubted she was innocent in this matter; it would take a while, a long while before they truly trusted one another again. Though it appeared he trusted her.

Ayame didn't trust him, yet.

She would, with time. She knew she would because even as a child she always came around for Koga. Because unlike him she knew they were mates of the soul, one did not feel so pulled to another after all this pain still without being mates of the soul. She glanced over her shoulder when she saw him walking into her closet.

"We could just share a room like normal couples," he suggested.

"No."

"Come on Ayame," he groaned out.

"I didn't say no sex I said no to us sleeping side by side night after night because if you leave me after that I really just might die," she informed him. When he left her again it would kill her knowing he had whispered lies in her ears as she slept in his arms. It wasn't something she was strong enough to take. Kami knew she was strong enough to take a lot but she couldn't take that. If it were to happen she'd die of broken heart and Koga would wonder what had happened because he was that dense where she was concerned. She wasn't going to be hurt again by him.

"I promise I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

"I remember you promising to love and cherish me one day long ago, but the reality of it is different isn't it?" Ayame pointed out, Koga flinched and she continued to put her clothes away. Koga just came up behind her, his chin rested on her shoulder.

"This time I mean every promise I give you," Koga whispered in her ear as he came around her.

"I'll believe that when I see it," Ayame informed him seriously.

"Then pay attention," he informed her darkly and she frowned. The desire to scream in her confusion with him and what he was doing to her. A few months ago he didn't even know she existed and now he wouldn't leave her alone. She wanted a minute to breath, a moment to catch up to stop stumbling around after him as he dragged her around while he decided what he wanted do.

"I need to breath, go away," Ayame order.

"No," Koga said firmly as he kissed her cheek.

She just snarled angrily as she leaned on him. Bastard. She angrily had to admit he wasn't being a complete and total asshole. Ayame just wanted him gone, she wanted him out of her life, she wanted him to not let her go but she swore to all that was holy if he was playing her she'd murder him. If he was just sticking around and stringing her along she would hide his body in the damn woods. Koga just held her as she leaned on him quietly. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Would it really kill him to leave her be in life?

"Play me Koga and I'll murder you where you stand," she warned him.

"Then I don't have to worry, cause I'm not stringing you along," he countered in her ear. Ayame began planning the nursery she would be building she wasn't required to be a complete homicidal maniac where her cubs were concerned. Where Koga was concerned…maybe.

* * *

Koga had to admit that buying this house with Ayame was a brilliant idea. Perhaps she would stop hating him so much. Then again he was lucky she just hadn't screamed bloody murder at him. He'd take what he could get as he helped her set up the nursery for their cubs. He was grateful she'd at least let him be involved with his cubs but didn't think to press his luck with her.

Sitting there he tried to figure out how to assemble the cribs he knew he'd need in about three months. How the hell did one assemble this!? Looking at the directions he was certain they were in chinese, why the hell would they be in Chinese!? Just looking at them he was getting a headache. How were you supposed to assemble these things!?

"Ayame," he called out, she appeared in her overalls with paint on her nose.

"How the hell do you assemble this thing?" he demanded, she laughed. Very much to his delight he had managed to get a laugh from her.

"Read the directions!" she giggled out as she picked up the gigantic piece of paper which were claimed to be directions.

"Oh boy, is this Korean?"

"I thought it was Chinese."

"Could be Vietnamese," Ayame grumbled as she turned the paper in her hands. Koga just grumbled a bit as he looked it over. This was fucking ridiculous! How the hell were you supposed to assemble this thing?

"When in doubt, call the experts," Ayame declared.

"What's that mean?" Koga demanded sharply as he looked at his wife who pulled out her cellphone. She held up her finger then.

"Hi Rin," Ayame chimed into the phone. "Yeah, we're good. Sort of, umm… no. I need help, yeah these cribs…Uh-huh. That'd be great, are you sure he won't mind? Really! Thanks," Ayame grinned. "Yeah I'll see you then."

"What'd you do?"

"I called for help, apparently Sesshomaru knows how to assemble these evil contraptions. He also speaks and reads twenty languages, he should figure out how this thing is built." Ayame announced much to his annoyance.

"That's cheating!" Koga declared as she walked away.

"It isn't cheating when you admit you need help! Besides I like Tsukiko and Yuichi!" she shouted over her shoulder as she walked around the corner. He just sat there growling while he looked at the instructions. Damn it! Why couldn't they just be in one language? Would it really kill them to write it in the needed language!? Perhaps, he growled as he continued to try to figure this out.

He didn't need no stinking mutt to assemble some cribs!

_Twenty minutes later…_

He gave up! The damn things were impossible to assemble! Growling he stomped into the living room, yanked open the front door at the knock and looked at the silver inu daiyōkai who was looking blankly at him. He looked down at a small woman again, her black hair was pulled back and her large brown eyes were looking up at him as she held a black hair bundle in her eyes.

"Oh good you're here!" Ayame shoved past him then snatched up the black haired bundle before dragging the girl after her. Koga looked at Sesshomaru then who held the silver bundle. "Thanks Sesshomaru!"

"Hn."

"Are you certain you know what you're doing mutt?" Koga asked skeptically as he let the dog into his house. Sesshomaru said nothing but lifted a brow in obvious annoyance; at least he was certain it was in annoyance though he wasn't certain. Why the hell was this guy so hard to get a read on? Grumbling Koga lead Sesshomaru to where he had the cribs and parts, plus the mysterious instructions. Sesshomaru said nothing as he sat down with the silver child in his lap and got to work. Koga sat with him and tried to work on the crib, what the hell!?

"This part," Sesshomaru handed him a screw for the joint and Koga blinked; but that wasn't the part on the instructions. Koga took the part and worked on the building of his crib while Sesshomaru assembled the other. The child crawled out of Sesshomaru's lap and picked up a screw, Koga watched her nervously as she fingered it then she looked at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru took the screw from her as he worked on the crib.

"How do you do that!?" Koga demanded nervously as he waited for the girl to burst into tears from her father taking the screw from her. Sesshomaru looked at him with what he assumed was confussion. "Shouldn't she be crying, all Ginta's cubs do is scream and cry when you take things from them."

"She's helping, not playing," Sesshomaru shrugged as he continued to work. Koga just looked at the little silver girl staring up at him with wide blue eyes as she picked up another screw. Did the kid never smile? She held it up to him so he carefully took it from her as they continued to work.

As he worked on his second crib he found he liked the kid, she wasn't all that bad though she was just a little too quiet. Weren't pups her age supposed to be loud, demanding, and whiny? Or was that just Ginta's cubs? The girl never strayed far from Sesshomaru and when she was about to fall her father picked her up with his fluffy thing. Koga wondered how Sesshomaru knew the girl would fall because he never seemed look away from what he was working on. Now Koga wondered if Sesshomaru had a secret to making child care look easy or if Ginta was just a push over.

"Sesshomaru, do you mind looking after Yuichi? I don't want him eating paint," Koga looked up at the girl, Rin; at least he thought her name was Rin.

"Hn," Sesshomaru answered before Rin deposited the black hair bundle in his lap.

"Thanks," Rin kissed his cheek before she left them with two pups. Koga just panicked at the thought of watcihng two pups but Sesshomaru never stopped looking at the crib he was working on. The boy walked over to him on unsteady legs and grabbed his knee.

"What's he want!?" Koga panicked, Sesshomaru shrugged as he finished his crib.

"Relax, wolf, they just want attention," Sesshomaru snapped when he stiffened and Koga frowned at him.

"Why are they so quiet!? They aren't supposed to be this quiet!? And why are they just looking at me!" Koga wanted to run, this was so strange! True he hadn't had much expeirence with cubs, pups, kits, or babies in general but this was making him uneasy. Ginta's cubs were running everywhere, in all sorts of trouble and demanding attention. Never had he met any child this small who looked at him so solemnly as if they knew every thing he had ever done; good and bad; in his life and wanting to confess every sin. They'd be good cops, all they had to do was look at the perp and he'd break. Seriously how were they doing that!?

"If you can't even handle these two what are you going to do when you have cubs?" Sesshomaru asked coldly, Koga frown at him.

"Your pups are mutants! Seriously why haven't they made a sound!?" Koga snapped, though he felt the dog was right. He looked down into a wide set of amber eyes and flinched in panic.

He wanted to bolt.

* * *

**So some bozo broke the internet where I live yesterday, they've fixed it today but it wrecked my writing yesterday. So I'm sorry I couldn't get the promised chapters up but this is a good faith gesture on my part, I'll post two more tonight and hopefully tomorrow I'll post three before I go to work and another one after work then Saturday I'll post the rest of this story.  
**

**Starting the first week of March I'll try to post the third installment of my Trying Not to series, I'm just deciding how I want to play the third one at the moment. It'll definitely be a challenge for me but I'm looking forward to it. I like challenges, especially where characters are concerned. I'll admit it Sesshomaru and Rin are so much easier to write than the other pairings of Inuyasha but that's just my oppinion.**

**Anyways, I'll work on the other two chapters of this now. Then I'm working on my personal works; which I am dying to work on since I have figured out how I want it to go!**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	14. Chapter 14

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 14**

He stood in his kitchen with Sesshomaru who was watching his pups and wondered just what he was doing with this dog. The pups were sleeping on the counter in their car seats as he and Sesshomaru drank their beers.

"Is it hard?" Koga asked.

"Yes," Sesshomaru seemed to know what Koga was talking about; much to his relief.

"Ginta's cubs Kai and Shinta just run wild over him, why don't yours?" Koga asked, Sesshomaru's pups and Ginta's were about the same age.

"Different pups," Sesshomaru sipped his beer. Koga just stared at the two sleeping pups in their car seats and wondered if it was terrifying to the inu daiyōkai beside him. To Koga this was now mind numbingly terrifying because he had watched these two while he had assembled the crib. They were quiet, obviously smart, and somehow indifferent to what he was certain most babies would be crying over.

"Is it terrifying?" Koga looked at the dog who looked at the pups.

"Yes," Koga just blinked for he hadn't really expect an answer from the dog as they sipped their beers. So this scared even the mighty Sesshomaru? That was interesting, but as Koga looked at the pups he wondered something else. Something the dog would have the answer to.

"Is it worth it?"

"Yes."

One word, Koga relaxed for he heard the truth in the word as he leaned on the countered and looked at the pup while the women were painting the nursery. So this would all be worth it in the end. He liked knowing that. And perhaps by the end of this he'd have Ayame too. He took another sip of beer.

* * *

"Have they killed each other yet?" Ayame demanded anxiously, part of her hoping Sesshomaru took care of her problem for her and the other half hoping her husband and best friend's mate got along.

"He was breathing when I gave them Yuichi," Rin replied as she worked on her mural. Ayame was amazed at Rin's talent but then remembered her pups' nursery and guessed Sesshomaru had let her do as she pleased.

"Am I a horrible person?" Ayame asked, Rin looked over her shoulder then.

"Why would you ask that?"

"I mean we're here! We bought a house, we're starting a family, we're married, and we seem to be getting along alright but I insisted we have separate bedrooms, I insisted we have space, I just keep insisting to have this barrier around us. And he's trying Rin, he's trying. Even I can tell he's trying but…" she huffed out a breath in frustration as she sat on the bucket.

"But what?" Rin insisted as she wiped a brush on her jeans.

"But I don't want to be hurt again," she admitted miserably. Rin just sighed as she looked at her.

"My honest opinion is you never know until you try something," Rin informed her. Ayame blinked up at her. "I tried having a fling, didn't end how it was supposed to but I didn't know I could be complete without Kohaku until I tried it. Though now I don't think I can be complete without Sesshomaru. That's not the point though, the point is I didn't know I could be me and not hurt because I wasn't perfect or what Kohaku deemed perfect. You never know how a relationship will work unless you put yourself out there Ayame, you only know when you try."

"And if all of this just disitigrates around me? Then what?"

"I'll help you dispose of the body," Rin answered as she turned back to her painting.

"Is it really that simple, because I think he'll kill me if he's playing me Rin."

"Don't worry about it, if he's playing you then I'll sic Sesshomaru on him," Rin shrugged and Ayame grinned. "So what are you thinking to do for names?"

"I don't know, I'm having four so I was thinking something along the lines of seasons or flowers, but if I tell Koga that he'll just faint thinking we're having daughters." Ayame did not see Koga handling daughters well, he'd probably bolt.

"He strikes me as the sons kind of guy," Rin agreed as she continued to paint.

"Which sucks because I want to have a few daughters. What did Sesshomaru want?" Ayame was curious because she could never remember Sesshomaru voicing an opinion one way or the other about what he wanted with Rin.

"He wanted them healthy and happy," Rin answered as she dabbed her brush into another color of paint.

"Really? He didn't say he wanted sons or daughters?"

"After his family experience I'd say he just want his children happy and healthy, he's never voiced wanted one or the other. Honestly Sesshomaru never seemed to care one way or another if he got a son or daughter, though I think he was relieved to get two healthy pups and me alive after the pregnancy. Seriously, I've never seen him so worry. Not even when Kohaku had been trying to kill me," Rin informed her.

"He handled your birthing well," Ayame pointed out. Sesshomaru hadn't screamed, bolted, or fainted like most of the nervous fathers she had dealt with. True Ayame mostly stayed with being a trauma surgeon but she had been Rin's doctor when Rin had been pregnant. Mostly because after the nonsense with Kohaku Rin had lost trust outside of her few friends and the Taishos. So Ayame had dealt with her first pregnancy; ever; and had loved it. Rin was an easy patient, though Rin was the sort of laid back person who would walk out of her shoes and not notice. She had too; on serval occasions. But when Rin had been in labor; she was a monster, screaming, cursing, vowing unspeakable threats which Ayame had never heard. Though she had to give Sesshomaru credit, he hadn't panicked or shouted back at her during the whole thing, just quietly took it all impassively and held her hand.

"Not really, he panicked when I shouted I hated him a few times and he was never again touching me," Rin countered and Ayame snickered. She remembered those threats and thought them to be absolutely hilarious.

"They were creative," Ayame mused happily. Rin smirked.

"I'm an artist, what do you expect from me?" she asked evilly. Ayame chuckled at Rin as they sat in peace in the designated nursery.

"Were you scared about being a mother?"

"No, I had Sesshomaru and he'd be there so I never worried about it. Besides they took after their father; thankfully; and that made life just infinitely easier!" Rin explained seriously.

"I would think that made life harder, Sesshomaru's impossible to understand or read."

"Are you kidding? He's the easiest person I've ever met, understanding him is a sinch, and he's great for conversations. He's a terrific listener." Rin declared proudly and Ayame rolled her eyes. The human would never understand the imposing terror Sesshomaru created within people and yōkai alike. She knew for a fact he scared Koga, she had smelled it; and if Rin wasn't around Sesshomaru was someone who scared her boneless.

"You need glasses, Sesshomaru is terrifying and with that blank glare of his it's as if he could part seas at will and make mountains run from him." Ayame was serious about it.

"He's not that bad, and he's not as mad as a hatter," Rin pointed out and Ayame giggled. Though everyone had been scared for Rin they had been shocked with how well she had handled the Kohaku situation. It was as if she was invincible, though Ayame remembered looking at the x-rays and knowing different.

"So about Koga, what do you think I should do?"

"Try it Ayame. And try not to murder him, at least try to be with him." Rin suggested it so exasperatedly that Ayame wondered if Rin was annoyed with her. Though she didn't ask as Rin continued to paint the mural.

"I'm scared, I'm scared he'll shatter me and I won't be able to pick up the pieces, I'm terrified he'll break me." Rin looked at her then.

"You take it one day at a time, and you try every day. He's trying, so you should try. And when you break you take it day at a time from there. Life is nothing more than one moment at a time and to think otherwise is wrong. All the grand plans you may make, all the time you feel you have, an hour from now, even the next minute isn't a guarantee. All you get in life, for certain is the time spent and the moment. To feel the past should define you is wrong because you may not get tomorrow to be new, trust me. I saw my whole family murdered, I was stalked and nearly killed twice by a physco who thought I should love him, and I was in a horrible relationship. But it's not me and it isn't now, it's the past and while it hurts it isn't something meant to rule my life. You and Koga have had good and bad times, but their spent, in the past, and over, all you two have is now. If you squander your precious time that's your decision but don't stand there and talk about how hurt you are when he could be gone tomorrow, because there's only one thing in life that hurts more than being hurt and that's losing the people you love; especially when you're angry with them."

"Really?"

"The last words I ever shouted at my father was I hated him because he told me no dessert until I ate all my vegetables, then I stormed up to my room and slammed the door. You don't know what I'd do to tell him I didn't hate him, to tell him I loved him and he was my favorite person in the whole world, but I can't and I live with the pain of that. Don't live with that Ayame, it hurts. Love the people you have because they're here, they may not be tomorrow or an hour from now. I tell Sesshomaru I love him every time he leaves the house no matter what we were arguing about or how we were feeling then because I don't want my last words to be in spite. If you're not trying with Koga out of spite then the only one you're really hurting is you because you love him and I know it. And worrying about the future is pointless, because it's not here."

"Are you certain you're human?" Ayame asked skeptically.

"Positive," Rin said coldly as she continued to paint.

The afternoon continued on a happier note, until Rin shoved Yuichi into Koga's arms and he froze. Ayame laughed at his face but didn't say anything negetive to him. So Rin might be right, she should try with Koga but she wasn't certain she could. There were still a lot of damaged trust here but she'd try. If Rin could find happiness with Sesshomaru of all creatures then Ayame could probably find happiness with Koga. Though with the way he interacted with two of the easiest going pups she had ever met she wasn't too certain how he'd handle their cubs. He treated Yuichi as if Yuichi was a bomb about to explode, though the pup didn't react poorly to this treatment, Yuichi acted really calm surprisingly.

"Thanks for coming, again," Ayame said as she and Koga waved off Sesshomaru and Rin.

"Seriously do those pups ever smile?" Koga demanded once Sesshomaru and Rin drove away.

"Yes, but they have to like you!" Ayame said smugly as she walked past her husband.

"And they've smiled at you?" he asked skeptically as he followed her. Ayame didn't like his skeptical tone but over looked it.

"Yeah they have, and I've even gotten them to giggle," she informed him happily.

"No way."

"Uh-huh, they're sweet," Ayame said dreamily. Koga just rolled his eyes as he came up behind her.

"I don't care how sweet another man's pups are, you should be more focused on our cubs and your husband," Koga breathed in her ear as she blushed with embarrassment and excitement. His hands undid her overalls and slid over her growing bump.

* * *

"That's right boss, he and the red head moved in together."

"Uh-huh," the boss grumbled.

"What do you want us to do boss?"

"Nothing, for the moment, keep an eye on the wolf and his wife." The boss decided as he underlings trekked off. Part of him wanted to strike now, cut down the nosey cop for having ruined his deal with Kaijinbō. The wolf would pay the price for interfering with things that were not of his affair. Besides, the cop and his wife would be an example and message to the cops for the future. No one was safe from his wrath. He looked at the survailence photos he had and noted the silver inu daiyōkai, he smirked. This just kept getting better.

So the cop had ties to Sesshomaru Taisho…

He could exact his revenge on both fools at the same time.

* * *

**So I'm working on the third promised chapter of this as you read it. Things are heating up folks!  
**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	15. Chapter 15

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 15**

"I don't know Koga, I feel pretty fat so do we have to go to dinner?"

"Yes, in case you forgot it's our marriage anniversary," he pointed out. She just groaned as she tossed out another dress which hadn't fit. In truth she didn't want to celebrate her marriage anniversary; it wasn't really something worth celebrating since their marriage was not exactly good.

But she was trying to do as Rin had ordered and try at this.

It wasn't fair to require Koga to be the trying member of this relationship when they were both in it. Still, celebrating their anniversary…not something she was looking for. True he was trying but could he not see that celebrating their anniversary was painful for her as she pulled on another dress. This would not be her fondest memory, no matter what the outcome since this was her least favorite day of the year. Granted she wanted good memories from this but their anniversary was the day her life was ruined. The day she pulled on her white dress and walked down that aisle to him had been the day her life was ruined and she couldn't seem to view it any other way. Even when she tried not to she ended up viewing it that way, the day her life became hell because the one she loved hated her guts.

"Come on Ayame, lets go," Koga ordered.

"Ugh, I hate you at the moment," Ayame informed him.

"Love you too," he countered as she fought her shoes onto her feet. She scowled at the door as she pulled her red hair back. She did not love him! At the moment she just wanted to wear her sweats, slippers and three sizes too large for her and watch some sappy romantic movie with a slice of pizza. It was somewhat her own tradition on her anniversary. It was also the greatest way to remind her she was married, watching those romance movies were great and the pizza was always good, even if it was a little pricey. Sighing she stalked out to her husband who looked at her with a smirk.

"Can we please just stay in tonight, I have the _Notebook_ and pizza on speed dial," she promised for that had been her tradition for her marriage.

"Nope, a night on the town," he declared as he herded her to the door.

"Please!" she pleaded.

"Uh-uh, and I am so not watching the _Notebook_, ever," Koga declared seriously as he loaded her up into the car. She just pouted a bit, the _Notebook_ wasn't that bad of a movie and it was sweet. If she really wanted to torture him she'd make him watch _Titanic_; which she loved but knew he'd leap over a cliff before watching. Now that would be hell to him.

"Why not? It's a good movie," she pointed out.

"Because rather like the other romantic crap the world shoves down my throat it's just that, crap. Love's not something pretty from a movie or a book and I hate having to watch these unrealistic relationships which hold no meaning to anyone. On top of that it puts me to sleep with boredom.

"That's kind of the point pf watch it," she mumbled.

"Uh-huh, hey we could watch _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_," he suggested.

"_**ABSOLUTELY NOT!**_ I won't sleep for a month!" she shrieked.

"So if you won't watch my movie then I don't have to watch yours," he declared. She just rolled her eyes and snickered at his childish way of figuring this out. But it sounded fair to her because she was so not watching some horror movie, she'd end up hiding behind him the entire time and she was not feeding his ego with that. Besides with his inflated ego she didn't need him becoming more insufferable because she was hiding behind him. He just smirked at her as they drove onwards.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Ayame asked as she looked around outside.

"Something fun, and perhaps having something more fun after dinner," Koga said it so plainly she wanted to pound her head against the dashboard of the car.

"Subtly was never your thing," Ayame sighed, he just laughed.

"It wasn't intended to be subtle," Koga informed her.

"Uh-huh, so what's for dinner? The five of us are starved," Ayame smiled at her husband, but not her mate, as they drove to wherever their destination was. She had decided to take Rin's advice and live her life in the moment, to not let her past influence her. Sadly this also meant trying things with Koga for real and trying to ignore her broken, tattered heart which was aching still.

"You'll see," he promised.

"If you're playing with me I'll murder you Koga, I'm starving and your cubs are starving and I'm not playing around. If you are keeping me from a bloody, rare steak I will see to it your death is slow painful and horrible," Ayame warned as her stomach growled to enforce what she had just said. Koga just smiled at her as he drove on.

"Relax, Ayame. When have I ever let you down?"

She opened her mouth to blast him.

"Don't answer that," he snapped at her as they stopped at a red light.

"Then don't ask stupid questions," Ayame pointed out. He just frowned and she just smirked internally. So what if she was ignoring past pains she was still going to get up on him when she could, it was a part of their relationship which had never changed in all their years of knowing one another. When they had been cubs if he could do it then she could do it better, and it had been that way all the way up to the point of it deteriorating in high school. Koga lifted a brow at her, she smiled a flashy smile at him and they both remained silent for the duration of the drive.

* * *

Koga would admit he liked being around Ayame and in the past week since her friend had visited things seemed to have been improving between him and her. Though he'd happily never be around Sesshomaru again he was glad Ayame's friend had fixed whatever she had fixed in Ayame. His eyes flicked to the rearview mirror again.

Same car.

His instincts took over as he punched the gas on the green and disappeared in the traffic. He'd have to talk to his boss about this, because there was no way in hell that car was from his people. Ayame didn't seem to notice what he had done so he hoped that meant she was enjoying herself. Ignorance was a bliss and where Ayame was concerned he was sticking to that motto, he did not need her hating him more if his work life spilled into his personal life.

They pulled up to the restaurant where he had made reservations, before Ayame got out of the car he was around to help her with the door and pulled her out of the car. She smiled at him, he felt his heart swell at the smile as he offered her his elbow and lead her into the building. Somehow this all felt right to him, this was what it had been like before the arranged marriage announcement. This was what it should've been and this is what it should be again. He liked it this way. Her smiling at him, and acting as if he meant something to her.

If it was the last thing he did he'd matter to her again. It was a promise to himself he was keeping because he wasn't letting her down twice. She wasn't going to let him have three tries so he'd take his second chance and make it worth everything. Ayame leaned on him as they walked into the restaurant and he smiled slightly for she was trusting him again. True she hadn't said she trusted him again but she was leaning on him, she was letting him in bit by bit and she was confiding in him slowly. But he knew she was beginning to trust him again with how she leaned on him, or how she looked at him occasionally. It was nice, and he wasn't going to fuck it up again.

"Thanks, now dinner!" Ayame said as he seated his wife. He wanted to call her his mate but as he eyed the unmarked spot on her neck where he wanted to mark her he reminded himself to have patience. It was only recently she let him touch or be around her and recently she had even let him sleep with her. Not just have sex but sleep beside her.

"Lemme guess, steak, rare, extra bloody, and fries not a salad," he guess going off of her and her pregnancy cravings. Not that they had changed since high school, in high school where most girls were into starving themselves to look thin and pretty, Ayame had wanted a WacDonalds burger, probably four, and then a large soda. She was never one to care about how she looked so long as she ate good food and looked good enough to make the boys drool at the same time. And she had, boy had she made him drool like a fool back then.

"How'd you know?" she asked sarcastically with a devious smile.

"Lucky guess," he mused as she handed her menu and order to the waiter. He got the same thing as his wife. "So…" this was now awkward.

"Yeah, so…" she sighed.

"Happy anniversary?" he suggested.

"Don't say it unless you mean it," she warned him seriously and he sighed. Now would probably be as good of a moment as any to hash out the new ground rules for their relationship, seeing as how this was technically their third year of marriage. It felt more like the first to him but then he hadn't tried too hard those first two years and just lost himself in his work.

"Alright, but Ayame I mean it. From now on I mean anything I say and promise you, I mean that and if you want me to sign a contract meaning it then so be it but please stop saying that!" he grounded out the last bit because he was fighting off his temper. She blinked at him with wide green eyes and he remembered he was the one to take a bit of her light away from her so he'd pay for it.

"Fine, just don't say things unless you mean them Koga." She warned him seriously.

"Alright, then I mean this all the way. Happy anniversary, I know the last two years have sucked for you and I made them hell for you but this year will be different. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to live away from you or them, and I'm not leaving you. From now on you're stuck with me," he smirked at the end bit though he really just wanted to mark her so she knew he meant everything. But if he marked her now, there was a good possibility of her hating him for all of eternity because he had hurt her badly in the past. They were just turning the corner of hatred to maybe liking again and he was not going to screw it up and send her back to hating him for all of time because he was selfish and she was his. Patience was key here.

"Alright, if we're turning over new leaves then happy anniversary to you too. I will try to have more faith in you," she informed him sincerely.

"That's all I can ask for," and he meant it. There was really nothing more he could ask from her than for her to have a bit more faith in him. She smiled sweetly at him, he smiled back as they celebrated their anniversary for the first time. He had to admit he liked it, especially when they got home. His lips crashed onto hers' and she surrendered as he led her to her room.

It was their first anniversary.

* * *

**I'm Back! Though I never really left...oh well!  
**

**Anyways Here's the awaited Chapter 15 to all those who've been waiting for this today! Sorry it's so late but George ate the originals of what I was going to update this with and I have to start from scratch, again. I hate George, I hate computers, please tell me how technology is supposed to improve our lives again? Aside from the iPod and a few other things I can't think of why technology is so great. Then again it could just be George, I don't have these problems with other computers.**

**In regards to this story I'm finishing it up in the next two days with five chapters a day, just be patient because I'll post them as I go.**

**In other news To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor is coming to a close. But I have other stuff on the way!**

**After I finish this story look for the third installment of my Trying Not to series 'Trying Not to Neuter Him', it'll be entertaining.**

**Now if you want the rest of my updates list for the week look at To Owe Sesshomaru a Favor, Chapter 51 by numbers.**

**That's all for now folks!**

**I'll be back tomorrow!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him and what's to come! =)**


	16. Chapter 16

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 16**

Ayame stared at the nursery trying to figure out what she was going to have to do for color schemes for the four cubs. She was thinking of seasons, it would be a good idea. Four seasons, four cubs, and four distinct color schemes for her cribs. That and it wouldn't be flowers, which would probably scare the shit out of Koga since that would mean the possibility of girls. She already knew Koga did not want nor could he handle daughters or the possibilities of daughters. That was a sure fire way to put him in an early grave, on second thought…

She smirked evilly as she planned her color scheme.

Daughters could be just the thing for her, she wanted a little girl. At least one, she didn't think she need a lot of daughters but she wanted just one. After all she loved Tsukiko, she thought Rin's daughter was adorable and Ayame missed her sisters, a daughter would be nice. Ayame smiled slightly as she walked out of the room with her color plan in mind then walked to the car so she could meet up with Sango, Kagome, and Rin; who was bringing Tsukiko and Yuichi with her. They were planning her nursery color schemes today and since Rin had painted that beautiful mural in her nursery so she would try to make her scheme work with the room.

"Where are you going?" Koga asked as she walked to the garage, she looked over at her half asleep husband who had staggered out of his room.

"I'm going shopping, it's my day off of work, and I have plans to meet up with my friends to continue to set up the nursery since we only have two months before d-day and I also have to sign up for birthing classes today. Rin has this class and she knows the teacher who does yōkai, hanyous, and human births so I thought I'd sign us up for that too." Koga looked groggily at her then.

"Huh?" Koga grunted out with bleary.

Ayame giggled then.

"Have coffee and I'll text the details later," she informed him as she walked away from him.

"Huh? Birthing classes?" Koga looked baffled, Ayame just shook her head as she walked into the garage. He was so dense at times, obviously she'd need to take these birthing classes because she was scared senseless of birthing. She had seen Rin in labor and helped with the delivery and ever since then she had been scared shitless of birthing.

"Wait Ayame," she looked over the open door at him.

"Yes?" before he kissed her lightly on the lips, she just blinked at him.

"Have fun," he said as he left her dumbly standing in the door of the car stunned half to death.

How the hell did he do that too her!?

Shaking her head Ayame sat in the car then drove to meet up with her friends. She was excited to meet up with her friends. A minute with her constant would be health for minute she wouldn't be alone or feeling confused. Starting up her car she drove to the mall to meet up with her friends. Ayame pulled up to the mall with a smile as she parked because now she had a few hours to relax. Rin was standing there as she chatted with Sango and Kagome as they waited for her. Ayame pulled out her bag as she got out of the car.

"Hey Ayame! You're late," Sango greeted as they walked into the mall.

"Sorry about that, Koga is good at startling me," she grumbled, she was relatively certain she had stood in her garage dumbstruck for a good five minutes before she gathered up her wits to come here.

"What'd he do now," Sango demanded.

"Nothing, honest, he just managed to stun me with a morning kiss before I left. You know those things can occasionally throw a person off balance. I am able to be thrown off balance from time to time and Koga is throwing a lot of loops at me at the moment." Ayame explain.

"But that's not bad, not necessarily," Kagome argued.

"Ayame, so what do we need to pick up right now for the nursery?" Rin asked as they walked into the mall, Rin with her stroller and didn't ask questions as they walked for the baby store.

"I'm thinking red, blue, green, and orange," Ayame answered Rin as they walked on.

"Alright, what theme?"

"Seasons,"Ayame answered as they walked to the store.

"Alright, red is summer, blue is winter, green is spring, and orange is autumn I'm guessing." Rin said as she heft up a fidgety Tsukiko out of the stroller.

"Yep," Ayame agreed.

"Goodie! Toys!" Kagome squealed then hurried off after snatching up Yuichi.

"He's going to break hearts one day," Rin sighed as Yuichi disappeared with Kagome.

"Because he's adorable." Sango smirked.

"How are things with Miroku?" Rin asked as they walked through the store, Ayame snickered at the thought of discussing Sango's love life.

"They're off, they are staying off, they never started, the lecher can go walk off a bridge for all I care! I've had it up to here with him! And the next time he grabs my ass I'm smacking his head off his shoulders!" Sango snarled out, Rin looked like she wanted to laugh but didn't. Ayame didn't have the restraint her friend had as she burst into hysterical laughter.

"I thought you liked him." Rin said evenly. Somehow Ayame had a feeling this was an important lesson for later in her parenthood to come but for now this was hysterical. It was even better than high school drama with Sango and Miroku.

"I hate him, I wouldn't date him if he were the last man on Earth and the survival of Earth depended on it. The lecher," she growled out. Ayame couldn't stop her laughter as they walked through the store. "This isn't funny, Ayame," Sango grounded out.

"Of course it isn't," Rin agreed compassionately before she received a painful stomp on the foot she could no longer see.

"Ow!" she yelped, now Sango snickered.

"See, not funny at all Sango, come on Ayame we need to pick up blankets for your cubs." She grumbled as she stomped after Rin. Tsukiko looked at her with wide blue eyes and Ayame sighed in defeat.

"Seriously, how do they do that!?" Sango demanded as she too looked at the eyes looking at them from over Rin's shoulder.

"Dunno," Ayame said as they followed Rin.

"I can't figure it out, they're Sesshomaru's pups but they're so cute!" Sango grumbled, Ayame giggled.

"I can hear you," Rin called over her shoulder, both she and Sango scowled then. Ayame had fun as she shopped but she couldn't shake this feeling she was being watched as she went along with her friends. Kagome picked out an infinant amount of outfits; to Rin's horror and Ayame's delight. She also bought several new things for Yuichi and Tsukiko, Rin looked horrified but Ayame had to admit the outfits, toys and blankets Kagome had bought were adorable.

"And just think when Ayame has her four and Rin has her other three we'll all have at least two to spoil!" Kagome declared, Ayame paled.

"Spoil?" she asked uncertainly.

"Of course, we're aunts so it's Sango's and I's duties as aunts to spoil your babies rotten!" Kagome declared happily. Ayame looked to Rin for help but her friend was clearly not interested in getting in the middle of this as she held Tsukiko up and the baby wiggled. There were no words to describe what Tsukiko was doing other than it was wiggling as she stood on Rin's knees and just happily wiggled away.

"Great, Rin what's your take on this?"

"Oh after what you three have done to mine I'll hype yours up on sugar and hand them back to you," Rin grinned. Ayame's head fell against the table they were sitting at.

"So not helping Rin," Ayame grumbled.

"I'm not supposed to be helping, I'm just here to survive the shopping," Rin said seriously and everyone burst into laughter. Ayame just sat there grinning as she sat there with her friends. So maybe her and Koga could work out. She listened to Sango's love thing with Miroku, and Kagome's love triangle and felt infinately better about her love life. Then they asked Rin about hers', this just had a way to make all their love lives look like hell either way, but then Rin had Mr. Perfect for her.

Ayame loaded up her car that evening, waved good bye to her friends, ignored the paranoid feeling she had about being watched then drove home. Time to make Koga useful, though he'd probably freak at the amount of stuff she had bought it was important to the amount of cubs they were having. Still he'd probably freak.

* * *

"What do you think boss?"

"We grab 'em later, the others don't mean anything to us or what we need. Leave them be," the boss ordered.

"Then which one do we want?" the man asked.

"We want the red head, she lives with the bastard Koga so she should be the one we grab. If any of them mean anything to him it'll be her, and then we'll use her to hurt him," the boss decided. His lips pulled back in a cruel smile to reveal his fangs.

He also wanted Sesshomaru's mate.

The bastard should suffer as he had.

Revenge was ever sweet.

* * *

"I'm back!" Koga looked up when Ayame shouted her arrival. She was back, and when he looked behind him again he nearly winced as she tossed a bag into the room.

"Ayame, what did you buy?" Koga asked as his wife shoved a stroller through the door which obviously didn't fit. She smiled happily at him.

"Everything we didn't have that we needed, and the aunts bought the and then some," she answered happily as she shoved the stroller in the door at him. Koga yanked the stroller in, he grabbed her before she fell then looked out at their new minivan. Bags were still stacked high in there, just what the hell was that?

"What aunts?" Koga asked his pregnant wife.

"Kagome, Sango, and Rin of course," she was giving him a look which he translated as 'obvious'. Still he stood there dumbstruck at what she had just informed him. So she viewed those women as family. Perhaps he should tolerate the mutt's mate and the mutt's pups, along with the human women she hung out with. He found himself sighing internally at the thought of being around more women or that mutt. But he wanted to make Ayame happy and to know what was going on in her life.

"So their 'aunts' now?" he asked for clarification. He should know the aunts of his children.

"Yes! Rin even helped me sign up for a birthing class, she won't be in class with me because she's human and has a longer pregnancy but she said she'd come to class with me when you couldn't come. Sango bought a billion educational things for our cubs, she even insists upon playing Mozart for their focus or something, she's the teacher so I'll listen to her in this matter because she's around kids all the time. And Kagome bought all the stuff, she's a little exuberant about this but she loves being an aunt and she's also offered to babysit when we need it. They're great aunts!" Ayame exclaimed, he just filed this information away for later.

"Uh-huh, and why do cubs need this much stuff?" he asked seriously as he looked over her shoulder at her car and stuff.

"Yes, have you dealt with babies before?" Ayame demanded.

"Do Ginta's cubs count?"

"Oh shit," she sighed and he had to agree with her. Besides babies were small, why did they need all this stuff?

* * *

**So here's one of five, sorry about this but I'm so sick at the moment I don't think I'll be able to give you the other promised stuff because I'm busy just trying to keep my head from spinning at the moment. So sorry about that but I think I'll be able to post two of this tomorrow morning along; possibly three but this is all just guessing at the moment, depending on me and my cold at the moment. Sorry about that, either way I'm finishing this by Thursday.  
**

**Anyways, the other chapters are being worked on at this moment.**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	17. Chapter 17

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 17**

Koga had landed in a horror movie, that's what it was for he could think of any other way to describe this mess again. Oh gods! He winced as the woman on screen screamed in agony as she gave birth. He wanted to go disappear from this class as he sat there with Ayame who looked enthralled with this video. Did he really have to endure this kind of torture? The woman screamed in agony as she gave birth and he really thought _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ had nothing on this horror film.

And people clapped at the end of this horror film. He just wanted to delete everything he had just witness and forget birthing as quickly as he possibly could. That had been a horror movie which he knew he'd never forget.

"Any questions?"

"Yeah, when's this class end?" Koga asked, the class burst into laughter while the teacher merely looked annoyed at him and Ayame glared daggers at him.

"It ends when it ends," the teacher said tartly. He just felt like groaning and going off to some deep dark hole to die. This was embarrassing and a horror film, nothing he had seen as a cop equaled the horror of that movie.

"Any other questions?" and so the class continued, he still wanted to go curl up in some deep dark hole to die as he endured the class. Now would be a really good time for a bullet to pierce his skull, he didn't think he could endure this for much longer. Finally the class was dismissed and while he had to help Ayame up to her feet; which he was certain she couldn't see; he resisted the desire to run for his car with her. This was terrifying but if this was what she wanted then by all that was holy he'd endure this for her, the things men did for their women. Sheesh! Ayame leaned on him as he hurried her to their car.

"Aside from your question the class was wonderful," she informed him as she buckled in. He fought off his desire to roll his eyes.

"Uh-huh, you and I are so not going through that," he informed her serious. She just blinked dumbly at him.

"It's birth Koga, the man doesn't go through anything," Ayame said coldly as they sat there and he drove home. Koga glared at Ayame, could she really be that stupid? The man may not have a physical part of the labor but it was just as hard on them as it was the woman.

"Uh-huh, just keep believing that," he grumbled as they drove home.

"You're not the one pushing four cubs out of yourself," she countered sharply as she glared at him. She had a point, even he'd admit she had a point but his point was even the man suffered in this matter. Though Ayame just might kill him for voicing the fact.

"Alright, so I don't suffer through the birthing," he conceded for the sake of the argument. Koga just looked blankly at the road as he tried to erase what his mind had to suffer through for the past two hours. That had been horrible and there was apparently no way his brain would forget it. The movie just kept replaying over and over in his mind, he wondered if there was such a thing as mind bleach. He wasn't going to sleep for a month after that horror film and the worst part was the real thing was coming in about two months. Oh shit!

Koga wanted to run right now but wouldn't because his hormonally imbalanced ookami wife was likely to skin him alive and the thought wasn't exactly pleasant. Then again the idea of surviving birthing was way worse than thought of being skinned alive. He glanced over at Ayame who was glaring at him as if he could spontaneously combust. Yeah, getting skinned alive was nothing compared to his wife's glare at the moment. But he wasn't going to screw this up, he wasn't going to run, he wasn't going to let Ayame slip through his fingers again. He wasn't so stupid as to do that twice in his life. Looking in his rearview mirror, he frowned at what he was looking at.

Slamming down on the gas he flew through traffic.

"Koga!" Ayame squealed.

"Yes?" as he looked over at her, as she looked at him.

"Eyes on the road!" she screamed.

"Yes ma'am," he said with a grinned as he punched the gas. His eyes glanced over at the in the rearview mirror. He was having a serious talk with his boss about this matter because this was going on for too long. If this tail wasn't from his boss then he was going to have a serious talk with his fists with the assholes following him and Ayame around.

This was getting to be really irritating to him.

For the past few weeks he had begun to get irritated with the men following him around. He had wondered what the purpose of the tail was, or the guys following him. Where they Internal Affairs (or as he called them Infernal Affairs)? Or was there something going on here that he didn't know about. There was something going on here and he didn't like it at all.

"What was that about?" Ayame asked as he slowed for a red, he glanced in the mirror pleased to see the car wasn't there.

"Just felt like going fast." He shrugged.

"Next time give us a head's up," Ayame said, he scented it then. He glanced over at his wife, then he smirked as he saw her flushed skin, devious eyes, mischievous smile and he smelled her arousal. So she liked going fast still…

He guessed something really never changed as he punched the gas, she squealed in glee and he grinned. It was a good thing he liked going fast as well as his wife. When they pulled into the driveway she grabbed his coat.

"So you still got it!" she mused before he kissed him. They ended up in the backseat again.

* * *

"What do you mean IA aren't the ones following me around? They gotta be it because these morons suck at tailing me," Koga argued with his boss again.

"They're saying it ain't them and if they say it's not them then it's not them. Besides, you've done nothing wrong as of late," his boss pointed out. Koga just glared at the old man.

"Last time was in self-defense the fucker was coming at me with a fucking axe and he was aiming for my head, what the hell was I supposed to do!?" Koga snapped.

"Not throw him out of the sixth story window," he boss muttered. Koga just growled as he stomped out of the office and slammed the door behind him. Just what the hell was going on here!? Even by his weird standards this was beyond weird. Who the hell was following him and why were they interested in him. He always got out clean, he survived every case and cleared every one that landed on his desk. Koga fell into his chair as he played with a tennis ball. Just what was going on here?

What was this about?

Who was following him?

Standing he walked out to his car. He'd have to be careful, especially with Ayame around. Why did this have to happen now?

* * *

**Yeah, I know it's short but don't be mad at me! The rest of the story is coming in this week, by the end of Wednesday if I have a say in the matter. But I'm posting this now, hopefully I can get the next chapter up on Sunday, I'm not certain if that's today or tomorrow at this point; another chapter on Monday and another on Tuesday and the rest on Wednesday so that way on Friday I can post the first five chapters of Trying Not to Neuter Him. Sorry about the delays in this story but there have been a lot of external factors interfering with all my writing over the last month. My daily updates are easy to do simply because they're a thousand or so words and light fluff to write up, these are slightly more complicated though they aren't that long. Sorry about that.  
**

**Anyways on Sunday, that's tomorrow or today:**

**-A chapter of Why Should I Worry**

**-A chapter of this**

**-Chapter 20 of 36 Weeks &amp; Counting**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Night!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	18. Chapter 18

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 18**

Ayame just sat there trying to figure out how to get around Koga's insane paranoia as of late. She wondered if this was a new thing for him or something she'd have to deal with for the rest of her life with him. Personally she was hoping this wasn't a new permanent thing for him. If this was a new part of him then she wasn't certain how she'd handle any other drastic changes in him because honestly this was too much for her at the moment. She was going to be having four cubs in a month and here he was freaking her out with his new protective attitude. If she wanted to go to the corner store for milk he insisted on coming and if she wanted to go to her garden he followed her. It was getting on her nerves.

On the bright side Ayame was home on maternity leave, she would be for a while but considering how big she was she was no use to anyone at work. She couldn't bend over, lift heavy things, or even see her feet so there really was no point in her being at work. Dr. Suikotsu had insisted she take it easy and go home for now on maternity leave. Still it wasn't as relaxing as it should've been because somebody was currently standing guard over her as she ate her sandwich.

"Koga!" Ayame snapped when he growled at the door, which she had no doubt Kagome was on the other side of because she had called Kagome.

"Is now a bad time?" Kagome's happy voice shouted through the door.

"No! Just ignore the idiot," Ayame greeted as she opened the door to her friend who grinned happily. Leave it to Kagome to be happy when the world was a disaster, Ayame looked over at Koga who was frowning as he went back to being a watch dog. Honestly! You'd think danger was lurking around every corner with how he was acting with her. Ayame just let Kagome in and Kagome smiled at Koga.

"Hey Koga, how's it going?" Kagome asked.

"Fine," Koga said tartly.

"Ignore him, I do." Ayame advised this because she knew it'd irritate him and it'd remind him he was being annoying. Two things she didn't have the energy to deal with at the moment. Koga merely glared at her as she and Kagome walked to the nursery.

Kagome had been called because Ayame couldn't call Rin; for Rin was also pregnant, and Sango was on a field trip with her kids for a camping trip or something like that. It was a big deal and Sango was to be on her best behavior unless the pervert; Miroku; grabbed her ass which she felt was most probable. But Ayame needed help and since Koga had become the watch dog from hell as of late she had decided to call a friend or a dog. With Koga's latest attitude adjustment she had felt it best to call the friend rather than the friend mated to the inu daiyōkai; there could possibly be problems if she did.

"So what did you need help with?" Kagome asked.

"Just a little rearranging, I'm due in a couple of weeks and I being as pregnant as I am I need help moving a thing or two since Koga is utterly useless," Ayame grumbled.

"He's not that bad," Kagome giggled out.

"No, and lately he's been a lot better at our relationship but now, I have to deal with this guard dog attitude. I thought this only happened in inuyōkai," Ayame grumbled. Kagome just laughed.

"The dilemmas of loving men of the canine variety."

"Tell me about it," Ayame agreed as she sat because the weight of her too large stomach was getting to her.

"At least he's faithful," Kagome muttered sadly.

"Inuyasha again?" Ayame asked.

"Yeah, he did it again, I went into the office because he called and wanted to talk about our dinner plans but Kikyo was there and Inuyasha forgot I existed, again."

"The jackass," Ayame grumbled.

"What's worse is she's a two timing bitch! I can't believe he doesn't see the problem with that," Kagome sighed. Ayame just nodded for there was nothing more she could say to her friend. Kagome's issues were far bigger than anyone knew, and Ayame had a feeling this thing Kagome was trapped in with Kikyo and Inuyasha would end horribly for someone. In particular it would end horribly for Kagome.

"Why don't you just move on?"

"And how'd that work for you?" Kagome snapped.

"Well I ended up having a one night stand with my not ex-husband, got pregnant with four cubs, and am now living with my not ex-husband. So I don't think moving on was really working for me, the bastard simply wouldn't leave me alone!" Ayame rolled her eyes. Moving on hadn't worked really well for her but it hadn't turned out all that bad as of late. She and Koga seemed to be doing a lot better too! Which was a shocker to her since the first time had ended in a fiery pit of hell for disaster.

"Yeah well my bastard thinks he can have both of us and not lose it. I'm going to nueter him."

"As a doctor I advise against doing that without medical expertise, however I'm willing to help."

"Oh goodie!" Kagome said with a happy sarcastic smile. Ayame felt sorry for her friend as she sat in her new rocking chair.

"Why not date Hojo? He's nice, sweet, kind, and considerate, four things Inuyasha is not."

"You would say the same about Sesshomaru and Rin would argue that with you tooth and nail," Kagome deflected.

"True but I think Rin might need her head examined because Sesshomaru is anything but kind, nice, sweet and considerate."

"I agree but I disagree with your assessment of Inuyasha. He can to be nice, sweet, kind and considerate, he just isn't most of the time."

"Exactly, so why stick around when he isn't?" Ayame argued.

"Because, I love him and it sucks to be me," Kagome sighed. Ayame felt sorry for her friend as she sat there tracing light circles on her huge belly.

"That is completely understandable," Ayame agreed for she had been in the exact same situation with Koga. Being in love with men who didn't know you existed sucked, and it was only made worse when they thought you were their friends. If she was Kagome…she'd have murdered Inuyasha by now, and quite possibly Kikyo too. Ayame did not handle sharing well.

"I don't know, I think Cupid is out to get me for saying I hate love."

"Karma is a bitch that way," and boy did she know it. Just look at what Karma had gone and done to her life! Granted she was getting her dream guy and she was getting the family she had dreamt about for so long but it wasn't going how it was supposed to go. First her guy hated her and now he loved her, talk about bipolar disorder. Karma was a bitch and it was Karma's fault this happened.

"Yes, Karma is a bitch," Kagome agreed sullenly. Ayame hid her smile at her friend's disgruntled attitude.

"But honestly Kagome you make it too easy for Inuyasha, he knows that if he snaps his fingers you'll come running to him." Ayame knew this to be true as she thought back to all of the girls' night out that Kagome had dropped all because Inuyasha had called her to tell her he needed her. It was not the best times for her friend but Kagome would always go running to Inuyasha. After all Kagome couldn't resist Inuyasha, and everyone knew it.

"I'm pathetic and predictable."

"In this matter yes, you are."

"I just can't seem to help it. If he calls he needs me and so I go running, the only problem is while he couldn't live without me he doesn't see me. He only sees Kikyo, which is awful because my sister is the ultimate bitch," Kagome grumbled.

"Yeah, she is." Ayame had only met Kikyo a few times but in those few times she had come to the conclusion that Kikyo was the ultimate Ice Queen Bitch of the Century.

"I just wish she was faithful to him at least. Inuyasha's bound to find out at some point she's banging another guy and when he does it'll destroy him," Kagome muttered miserably.

"I know, but you can't stop her and when he finds out he'll have to deal with it," Ayame said sadly. It was true she didn't know if Koga had cheated on her or not during their two years of marriage but she also didn't want to know. Some things were best left as unknown, if she knew then she knew their marriage really could and would never work out. She was able to forgive him bit by bit for the last few years but she knew she could never forgive him if he had cheated on her.

"Anyways, I'm here to be helpful and happy for a few hours and not think about Inuyasha! So what do you need me to do?"

"Alright here's what we're going to do…" Ayame started and the women spent the rest of the day chatting and fixing up the room's little imperfections.

* * *

**Sorry about the delays in updating this but March is always a busy month for me, I'm lucky if I get a moment to breath! Anyways I have the rest of this and it'll be posted today and tomorrow, I have a few things to work out though. But it'll be finished by the 31st and then first five chapters of Trying Not to Neuter Him will be posted on the 3rd!  
**

**Sorry about all of this but I'm catching up! Everything will be finished soon and the third installment will be up!**

**Anyways off to write some more!**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	19. Chapter 19

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 19**

The night was a beautiful night as she sat there with Koga on his 'picnic' date. He could not even make a simple sandwich; how had he survived without her?

"Ayame?" he said as she fixed her sandwich; if it could be called that.

"Hm?" she said as she fixed it up.

"Do you love me?" she blinked then.

"And why would you ask that, Koga?" her voice was freezing over.

Koga flew up in bed then fighting off his panic. His heart was pounding furiously in his ribs as he fought off the dream which he wanted the answer to most of all. Groaning he fell back on his bed, alone because Ayame still didn't let him sleep with her. Laying there he stared up at the ceiling of his room fighting back for normalcy.

Ayame had never answered his question, and he never let dream Ayame answer his question because he knew he'd get the answer he deserved. If one actually looked at the break up of his marriage they'd realize that it could be considered entrapment. But he hadn't exactly planned on knocking her up yet, still she was here. Getting out of his bed he walked to her room, quietly he slipped in to look down at her. Koga just sighed, he had listened to her with her friend Kagome and it had occurred to him he was not the most faithful of men to her. Perhaps how he had gone about their marriage was wrong, perhaps how he had kept her was wrong and what he was about to do was definitely wrong as he leaned over her.

His lips brushed hers' rousing her from her sleep.

"Koga?" she whispered he smirked as he climbed onto the bed. He didn't give a damn if this was wrong, she was his and it was about time he cleared that up for her. Before their cubs came into this world and wondered why their parents weren't mated.

He was careful with her, though he wasn't completely gentle as he took her. Ayame never seemed to mind, not even when he buried his fangs in the crook of her slim neck to mark her. Koga knew full well what he was doing, he knew she'd be pist at him come morning but by then it'd be too late. There was no way to erase a demon mark other than the death of one of the pair. Ayame was his and when she gave into exhaustion he stared down at her. His finger gently stroked her cheek before he got out of the bed.

Quietly he slipped back to his room, pulling on his clothes he walked back to his mate's room. His lips brushed her cheek as she slept.

"Sorry, but I have to finish this," he whispered in her ear as he straightened up, scribbled a quick note to her. No doubt she'd burn his things but he could always buy new ones so long as she looked at the mark rather than the note. Ayame was his and there was no turning back for him as he turned to walk out of his house.

For the past week his paranoia had driven him to near insanity, nearly making him run head on into a lap post because he was looking over his shoulder rather than watching the road. Walking out into the night Koga smiled a feral smile.

It was a good night for a hunt.

The moon was full.

* * *

They watched the wolf as he walked out of the house. They smiled for their master would be most pleased with this newest development.

In the past week alone the wolf's activities had diminished to practically none. They hadn't seen the wolf leave the house or let the pregnant she-wolf leave the house. Honestly they had thought the stupid wolf dead. But now they were following him. Yes their boss would be most pleased with this!

* * *

When she got her hands on that bastard she was stringing him up and gutting him then setting him aflame! The bastard! Ayame glared at the note again and then at her neck, bastard! She just sighed then. So what!? It wouldn't matter! He'd come home to nothing! She'd buy a fucking concealment charm or something and disguise herself! If the bastard wanted to play games then she wouldn't play and after all the whispers of love he had given her he was damn lucky she wasn't tracking him down to rip him to shreds!

_-Ayame,_

_-Something has come up, work related, and I'll be out for a while I won't be able to get contact for a little bit. I'll be back before you give birth though._

_-Love you!_

_-Koga_

Ayame pulled out her phone, she called Rin to come get her. Rin was on the way, Ayame just looked at her large belly; though it was small for quadruplets by human standards, she looked like she was pregnant with twins rather than quadruplets. Fighting back her hurt of her situation she artfully arranged her red hair to hide that fucking mark, then packed a light bag. Grabbed her hospital bag then went to her front door. Rin knocked, Ayame walked out of the house then walked to the door. She walked to the car, willing herself to move, it was now a mini-van though with Rin's growing brood it would definitely need to be able to seat seven comfortable. After putting her stuff in the car she sat down, Rin joined her.

"The bastard," Ayame muttered as tears as welled up in her eyes. Two weeks until her D-day and he had up and left her, the bastard. Rin said nothing as she drove her to Sesshomaru's place.

"How long can I stay?" Ayame asked Rin softly.

"As long as you need to, Sesshomaru and I have plenty of room," Rin said softly. Ayame frowned for all this meant to her was that the dog would want her and her cubs out in a month at most. And honestly she couldn't blame Sesshomaru for wanting her out of his house because it was his technically. She just leaned back in her seat as she watched the city around her as they drove to Sesshomaru's in silence.

Ayame wondered what was so important to Koga that he'd leave her now. Probably something as stupid as cold feet and nerves. The reason Ayame was so pissed was because she had called his lieutenant, who had in turn told her he didn't know what Koga was talking about and if he knew what Koga was **doing** he'd tell her. Those words had shattered her heart, had her running around her house, throwing things in her suitcase as she fought off her desire to track the bastard down and whack him over the head with a rollingpin. Bastard.

Rin helped her to the guest room, Ayame had to admit she liked the space her friend was giving her as she left her alone. Ayame just collapsed on the bed, curled around her cubs as she sobbed again. Again she had trusted in him, had faith in him.

And again here she was, marked for life without a mate and pregnant with four cubs.

Her body was shaking as she cried for she couldn't fix her broken heart a second time as she lay there. There would be no recovering from this, she'd just have to endure it because she wasn't giving up on her cubs. They'd need her, they'd love her and she'd give them all the love in the world because Kami knew she'd have the rejected love to spare. Burying her face in a pillow she sobbed in pain. How could she not when again he had left her? This time after promising to stick around, to be there, to be with her. Ayame finally wore herself out as she drifted off to oblivion with her head aching and her shattered heart killing her. But sleep consumed her for she was exhausted.

* * *

Koga knew he had broken Ayame's heart when he had left that note but this was bugging him as he tailed his tail again. They didn't even notice him as he slipped through traffic on his bike. Hopefully Ayame would hold up with friends, and hopefully when he came back she wouldn't hate him for all of eternity. That was all provided she was there to come back to…

He shook his head refusing to go there in though because to do so would be bad for him. He needed his head clear and his mind sharp. If he knew who was stalking him then he knew who he needed to protect Ayame from and once he knew that he'd keep her and his cubs safe. Koga would not let his pack be endangered, he would not lose Ayame after finally getting her back in his life. Growling he sped after his tail again.

The idiots hadn't notice him yet.

Hopefully they'd lead him to their boss.

* * *

**Sorry about the delay today but I got sidetracked! The hazards of having five dogs who are good at getting your attention... hehe, then I'd sit down to write and I start on my personal works which was slightly consuming because I love them so much. So sorry about the delays in this. But do not fret I shall finish it tomorrow and be posting a chapter of Because I Love You and 36 Weeks &amp; Counting tomorrow. Why Should I Worry shall also be getting an update for that is my daily piece!**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	20. Chapter 20

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 20**

In the past couple of days Ayame had figured out what was routine in Rin's house. All life in the Taishono house began at five in the morning when Sesshomaru got up with Ah-Un and went running. Rin was up fifteen minutes later to take care of Yuichi and Tsukiko. At six Sesshomaru returned, Ayame was up by then too and usually being fed breakfast since Rin was cooking by then. By six-thirty Sesshomaru was off to work and by seven Rin was back asleep with Yuichi and Tsukiko in the room with her.

Ayame had to admit she was envious of her friend but the times she was alone; for Rin would be asleep until about ten or eleven; she thought about Koga. Life with Koga hadn't been all that bad, it had been pretty good and pretty amazing at times but right now she just wished she could get a few moments alone without being plagued by his memory. There was no way for her to repair her heart this time, she hadn't really ever thought about how this would feel but now she knew and it sucked. Never again was she ever trusting a wolf or a man unless he was married to one of her friends. Ayame was going to stay single for all of eternity; the hell with male role model for her pups! They'd be just fine without that idiot's influence.

And if Koga had a problem with that then fuck him!

It was all very possible her hormones were dictating her actions at this moment but she had warned Koga. She had warned him that if he had done this ever again then she was gone and once she was gone… There'd be no third chance. She wasn't an idiot three times in a row. Still it hurt that he had gone and done this. Did she really mean that little to him? If she did, would it kill him to just say it? Put her out of her misery because damn did she love him. She still loved him and he had gone and done exactly what she knew he'd do. Koga ran away the moment shit got serious. Why couldn't he just talk to her? Say he was scared or that he didn't want to be here with her. Ayame looked at her belly then felt like crying again. Just once it would be nice if just once he didn't go about leaving her or hurting her. And if she ever say him again…She'd Murder Him.

* * *

"Hello," Koga snapped into the phone as he spied on his targets.

"Next time you lie to your wife tell me the fucking truth you asshole!"

"Good morning to you too lieutenant." Koga peered through his binoculars as he tuned his demon hearing on the building. Something was up, it had been too quiet as of last night. It was almost as if they knew he was here, which he doubted since he had confiscated the apartment across the street with the perfect view angling down into the apartment. They couldn't know he was here, the idiots hadn't even noticed him tailing them.

"She's pist Koga," his boss informed him.

"Not a big fucking surprise," Koga grumbled as he tried to figure out what was up. Things were just too quiet here. Even by bad guy standards this was an odd situation. Most of the criminals he knew, while sneaky were noisy. They loved to talk, talk about what they had been up to and what they had been doing and what they had done. The biggest reason criminals weren't successful was because they had this need to brag, broadcast, and talk about what they had done. Criminals needed the credit for their hard work.

Then again there had been those few he had met, the few he'd dare to label the elite criminal. The best at what they do and they were only caught because of other littler crimes though they were the big time sharks. Hitmen, real professionals and not the wannabes were the best at being silent, leathal, and elusive criminals. There were a few organized crime heads he'd consider elite criminals too but few ever reached the dangerous level a killer for hire did. Serial killers, while dangerous, were slightly mental, they had rituals and things they needed to achieve when killing because their motive was personal. Koga looked down at the apartment. Just what the hell were these idiots up to?

"I gotta go," Koga hung up on his ranting boss as he slipped to his targets' location

Walking over to the door of the apartment he studied it before he sighed. What the hell, he had nothing to lose and if he was wrong about this then he'd sort it out with his boss and mate later. Until then though he was going to be bringing hell.

In a swift practiced motion his foot slammed the door down, his gun was drawn as he swiftly cleared the apartment where his targets had been. His eyes scanned the empty apartment then he holstered his weapon. The assholes couldn't get far, still he wondered what they were up to. Cautiously he wandered through the apartment to look over what was here. A few documents, a burner which when he flipped open he found was dead, no fucking battery. He walked over to a drawer, pulling it open he carefully flipped open the box lid.

His heart plummeted at what he was staring at.

It was Ayame, with her friend Rin at that mutt's place through the scope of a sniper. But it was what the red said that had him really panicking.

_You're Dead! They're next!_

He dropped the lid of the box, there was mechanical click which had him diving for the window.

Heat, force, glass and his scream as he fell out of the window to the sidewalk.

* * *

"Ayame could you get the door?" Rin asked, Ayame looked up at the ringing doorbell.

"Sure," Ayame said as she hefted herself and her belly up. She walked to the door but she was a few steps away when it burst open with a gun barrel aimed at her head.

* * *

**Hey, I'm a little busy and working on this at the moment but it'll all be finished by the end of the night.  
**

**Because I Love You and 36 Weeks &amp; Counting will be updated tomorrow, probably sometime in the evening or night. I'm a night owl and morning person, afternoons are evil! So it'll be here tomorrow night or tomorrow morning. Right now I want caffeine and I want loud music but I'm working on this at the moment then I'll work on Why Should I Worry's chapter. First I am finishing this!**

**Anyways, that's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	21. Chapter 21

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 21**

"Back up, in the house, nice and slow. Now where's Rin?" the man holding the gun ordered. She raised her hands as she backed up then.

"Who is it Ayame?" Rin appeared then.

"Don't take this the wrong way Rin but why do all the pyscos come after you?" Ayame demanded, Rin's eyes hardened as she stared the men with the guns.

"Sesshomaru will be coming home soon," Rin said coldly as she carefully set Tsukiko down.

"Why do you think we're here, Rin? You and Ayame are the mates of the two men who dared to humiliate me," a fifth man walked in then. Ayame glared at the short man.

"And you are?" Ayame asked leisurely because she wanted to piss this guy off. She had had enough of everyone making her miserable, she wanted this bastard to feel her contempt, her anger and her pain before she humiliated him.

"Kaijinbō, swords master and weapons liaison." The man bowed his head humbly but Ayame saw it was all an act. She didn't miss the fact her friend was backing up to the kitchen slowly where she heard the dogs barking, growling and fighting the door. If Rin got Ah-Un in here they could make a run for it. Then again, Ayame was yōkai and her balance, her limits with her pregnancy were not as strenuous as Rin's. Her green eyes darted to Tsukiko who was sitting on the rug with Yuichi but there was something dangerous in the pups' eyes. The amber and blue eyes of the pups looked rather like their father's always did at this moment as they stared up at the men. Ayame would need to grab them if they made a run for it, Rin wouldn't be able to hold both of them and run with as pregnant as she was.

"You're that armsdealer Koga was investigating a few months back," Ayame said as that piece fell into place. The name finally clicked in her head. Koga's boss had mentioned this to her before.

"And where does Sesshomaru come in? He's a Taisho not a criminal, and he doesn't deal with weapons!" Rin shouted at the man. The yōkai turned to glare at Rin.

"He destroyed my finest work because I claimed it to be the Edo period craftsmanship. He dies because he ruined my business when he broke that sword! He dies because he destroyed my greatest forgery, the Tokijin." Ayame just blinked.

Well, that was lame.

"You're that idiot who tried to trick him, and he destroyed you because of it?" Rin gave Ayame a look that clearly said she was not stupefied, Ayame had to agree with Rin. This was now really stupid. Hurting her because of Koga she understood but Sesshomaru!? This was now so stupid she felt like laughing, despite or because of the hormones coursing through her or because of idiot holding the gun on her.

"Oh brother, wanting to kill Koga makes sense but you'll have to get in line seeing as how I have dibs on skinning him alive, you can have what's rest of him when I'm finished." Ayame was fighting back her temper, though she felt herself failing miserably at her attempt. Still she had felt it important to at least try to stay cool at this moment.

"But we have _**exactly**_ who we want, the mates of Koga and Sesshomaru along with their offspring." Kaijinbō picked up Tsukiko then. The pup never made a sound as Kaijinbō lifted her up, instead Ayame gaped as light spilled from the pup's finger tips. The pup pulled her arm back, flung it forward and the light whip; a rare talent for a daiyōkai but it was a talent Ayame had never seen a hanyou pup possess.

"Tsukiko!" Rin shouted, nothing could stop Rin from moving forward then. Ayame leapt for a gun her claws dug in to one of the yōkai's wrists.

"I don't have poison but I'm one mean bitch," Ayame hissed her yōkai was furious.

"Ah!" one of the other men screamed as Yuichi dug his fangs into the yōkai. Rin was struggling to hold onto her daughter who struggling against her. Rin snatched up something and slammed it into Kaijinbō's head before she tried to run. Ayame slammed her knee into her opponent's crotch before grabbing Yuichi.

"Get to the back door Rin!" Ayame shouted.

* * *

Koga groaned as he lifted himself from the pavement.

_STUPID_, _**STUPID**_, _**STUPID! **_How fucking stupid he be, growling he whipped the blood from his mouth as he limped to his bike. The fucking mutt had better be at that fucking house with their mates or else there could be real fucking trouble! Koga straddled his bike, he winced slightly as he started up the engine.

Sesshomaru had just walked out of the elevator, he heard Kagome and Inuyasha fighting, InuTaisho talking on the phone, and everything so utterly normal it was slightly irritating. He wanted to go back home where Rin, Yuichi and Tsukiko were and relax. He was just about to step off the elevator when a head splitting fear pierced his mated bond with Rin. Without thinking about it he enveloped himself in light as he flew out of his office window towards his home.

Rin was in danger!

The bastards threatening her would die by his claws!

"Where are you going Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha shouted at him as he raced for his mate and pack.

* * *

"Well you four are a handful," Kaijinbō grumbled as he nursed the pain on his head.

"We try," Rin said, they had gagged her but they hadn't gagged Rin! Ayame just glared at the assholes who had tied her up.

"Well, you don't have to worry about it for much longer. No doubt you sent that wonderful sense of fear to Sesshomaru and he'll arrive in time to see you and the pups die and he won't be able to save you."

"I recall the last moron to attack me saying that, Sesshomaru destroyed him." Rin growled out. Ayame had to admit she admired Rin's courage at the moment. Though it was probably going to get the killed sooner rather than later.

The gun was leveled at her then.

"We'll just wait until Sesshomaru's coming here, no doubt he's coming."

* * *

Koga revved the engine, the terror he was feeling at this moment wasn't his own and he knew it as he raced towards Sesshomaru Taisho's territory.

If she was hurt in any way…

He'd murder the assholes without a second thought.

Fuck the job, Ayame and his cubs were more far more important than the stupid job he had been using to hide from them. He just grimaced as he swerved around a car.

Horns blared.

* * *

**Alright, a few more chapters are coming. Damn I hate afternoons, seriously! Freaking evil! **

**Anyways I'm working on this, a few more chapters are coming!**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	22. Chapter 22

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha**_

**Chapter 22**

Koga winced as his bike swerved up to the curb just as a ball of light landed in front of the house.

"You!" Koga hissed. The mutt turned and lifted a brow at him then.

"Wolf, your mate will not be happy seeing you."

"And who are you to talk! I'll save Ayame and we'll be fine!" Koga argued as he shoved his way past the mutt who just walked to the mansion. Koga wondered what the dog was doing when he let out an earth rattling growl. Before his eyes he watched the lean man transform into a giant white dog! Koga ran after the dog.

"Damn that mutt!" Koga growled as he leapt into the mansion with his gun drawn through the window. The dog was behind him. There were five me, and his blue eyes snapped onto the sixth, Kaijinbō! Bastard! Koga hit the ground and fired, the bullet tore through one of the henchmen's shoulders. His eyes latched onto Ayame, he growled at the sight of his pregnant mate tied up and gagged, only he could gag and tie her up! The dog was human again, Koga stared in horrid fascination as light errupted from the mutt's claws the slashed through the men. Bullets flew, Koga dove for cover, Sesshomaru did not.

Koga came up firing, careful to keep this fight away from Ayame and Rin, and two pups who were wobbling on unsteady legs.

"You vermin! You dare to touch what's mine!" Sesshomaru shouted, Koga flinched as he emptied and reloaded his gun. The inu daiyōkai's things began flying around the room and the men.

"What the hell!?" the men who had been hiding shouted. Kaijinbō just ran for the front door.

"No you don't you bastard!" Koga shouted.

"He's mine," Sesshomaru snarled in a voice so cold he froze mid-leap; as did Kaijinbō.

Sesshomaru knuckles cracked as he gave a smile Koga could only describe as feral, wild, sadistic, and cruel but also somehow chilling. Koga leapt back for his cover when the henchmen started firing at him again. Fuck this!

Coming up he fired his gun at the opponent, he watched as the small silver pup unleased her own light whip which sliced through the man who was creeping towards his mate and Rin. The black pup's claws glowed green then, he watched in fascination and horror as the same man's leg melted out from beneath him. Koga hit his target in the center of his forehead, the dead man's finger convulsed around the trigger as he fell and a bullet tore through his shoulder. Another bullet ripped through his hip as he dove towards Ayame and Rin and those pups, another bullet seared his flesh as he took one to the gut to protect Ayame. Koga returned fire, his target collapsed when he double tapped the man's heart.

Panting he knelt before he stood up carefully.

His last opponent stood there with a trembling gun. Koga just smirked as he stood with his gun steady.

"I have one bullet left, but it's all I'll need to kill you." Koga warned the trembling yōkai, but the yōkai foolishily fired. The bullet shattered his knee, he felt himself going down but he fired. True to his boast that was all it took, the last bullet pierced the man in the center of the forehead.

"You don't touch what's mine," Koga grumbled out as he looked at Ayame who was kneeling over him. Her green eyes were alit with panic as she all but sat on his wound. Koga just smiled slightly at her.

"Love you, sorry I took so long," he whispered as his world went fuzzy.

"Koga! If you die on me you bastard I'll murder you!" she shrieked. He smirked for that was so like her. But he surrendered to the darkness consuming him. Ayame was safe and that's all that mattered. If he died now he'd be happy knowing he hadn't let her down this one time.

* * *

There was a sharp pain in her lower abdomen but she ignored it, and the growing pains as she tried to stem the bleeding from Koga's wounds. She needed him! He couldn't die on her! He couldn't! the pain made her pause a moment before water splashed then.

"Ayame!" Rin grabbed her hands.

"He can't die Rin! He can't!" Ayame cried out in pain and in grief as she frantically tried to think of a way to save him.

"Ayame! Let him go, Sesshomaru's taking him and you to the hospital!" Rin snapped firmly. Ayame blinked through the tears then, the pain rippled through her lower abdomen making her feel like she was being ripped apart.

"Rin, what's happening?" Ayame moaned out as the pain over took her again. This was all so very bad!

"Nothing bad is happening but your water broke and you need to go to the hospital, Sesshomaru will be taking all of us to the hospital." Ayame screamed in pain again, then something soft wrapped around her before warmth enveloped her.

"Koga!" Ayame shouted as they appeared in the ER.

"Ookami, male, shot four time, lost a lot of blood." Sesshomaru handed off Koga, she struggled to stay with her mate but the ripping pain had her screaming as she fell into a chair. "Ookami, female, in labor, four cubs."

"Koga!" Ayame screamed as she disappeared to the maternity ward.

"Her contractions are close together, these cubs are coming now!" a doctor shouted. Ayame didn't care about the cubs she wanted Koga!

* * *

Rin was holding Tsukiko, Sesshomaru held Yuichi and then he had her wrapped up in a warm, strong hug against his chest. She blinked but then she felt him tremble, she had only felt him tremble once before and it was only a little while ago. Tilting her chin up to look at her mate she smiled slightly at him.

"I love you, but you were late Sesshomaru," Rin informed him only for his mouth to crash onto hers'. When he pulled away he blinked at their pups.

"Such odd hanyou pups, but they saved you," Sesshomaru murmured as he rested his brow on hers', Rin just smiled then.

"Well…all five of them appear to be taking after their father!" she announced only for his hand to rest on her growing bump where the other three were residing safe and sound. Tsukiko smiled then and Yuichi held a strand of Sesshomaru's hair while she held onto her husband.

Rin hoped for the best for Ayame and Koga.

* * *

**One more chapter and then I'm done! Oh happy days, I'll have another story completed! =)  
**

**That's all for now folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	23. Epilogue

_**I Do Not Own Inuyasha  
**_

**Epilogue**

"Aki! Put down the shoe!" the red head cub turn to blink his large green eyes at her.

She frowned at her cub before he pouted; he was not permitted to eat Koga's shoes! Honestly! You'd think she had had puppies with how her four acted. In the past four months hers' and Koga's lives together had grown so it was almost as if there had been no rift between them ever. True they argued a lot but she had a feeling that was inevitable seeing as how he was an alpha male and she an alpha female. Still it was nice to know he loved her.

The first thing she had said to him when he had woken up was she loved him and she was sorry for being stupid. Also if he wanted to be in their cubs lives however he could he was welcome. He in turn just hugged her though she knew it had killed him with pain but the moment he had held her she couldn't let him go, it was difficult puling herself away from him long enough to introduce him to their cubs.

Aki was the third; but largest cub with his red hair, elven ears and green eyes he looked the part of his name. Still, he was adorable, especially with his cute fluffy red tail! He was just like his father though and drove her insane with worry because of the trouble he got into.

Yuki was the first daughter of their children and with her silver hair, silver tail and brilliant blue eyes she could've passed for Tsukiko's sister. If the two didn't seem hell bent on ignoring the other for their play dates. Yuki was the quietest and most solemn of her cubs, she was also the boss of her brothers.

Haru was her second boy, and he was definitely the loudest with his tawny hair, green eyes and tawny tail. To Ayame it was amazing the cub didn't already have a juvie record with the mischief he could get into when she looked away for a minute.

Finally there was youngest daughter Natsumi, who had black hair, green eyes and a black tail. She was definitely in love with Yuichi, Ayame thought it cute but Yuichi's death glare was that of his father and clearly he didn't like it. Ayame thought that was hilarious.

Yes the past four months had slipped by quickly and her children wouldn't slowdown in aging for a couple of years. For now they were like yearling human babies in development and attitudes. She admit it was cute.

Koga slipped up behind her.

"Ready?" he asked as his arms slipped around her still slightly pudgy belly.

"No, do we have to?" Ayame whined.

"Sango asked you to be there, and you said you'd go so you're going. Besides it's a big deal to your friend and it'd mean a lot to her," Koga pointed out as he kissed his mark of their mating.

"Fine, but it's just a high school graduation I don't see why we have to go," Ayame grumbled though she knew she went every year since having become friends with Sango. They drove to the event, Koga got her seats and she chatted with Kagome as she managed her brood; though Rin ended up dealing with Natsumi since Natsumi liked Yuichi. The almost year and half toddler did not look amused when she grabbed his black ears. Ayame smiled at Rin, who smiled up at her with her three newest plus Tsukiko and Yuichi and Sesshomaru.

"How's it been going Rin?" Ayame asked Rin as Kagome snatched up the youngest of the pups.

"Well Yuji's been clingy though I think that's mostly because of Sesshomaru. Yuikio and Yuudai have also been moody lately but I think that's to be expected, they are Sesshomaru's sons after all." Ayame just blinked at the three amber eyes, silver dog eared heads, marked faces of Sesshomaru's identical triplet sons; all of whom were giving her the identical blank look their father, brother, and sister were giving as Rin smiled.

"I can see the resemblance," Ayame grumbled, Koga laughed and he snagged Aki before Aki waddled off. The ceremony was fun though as she leaned back to enjoy it.

* * *

Sango just inhaled sharply as her heart throbbed over the handsome pervert while she chatted with her friends after the ceremony. She was truly happy for Rin and Ayame but Sango wanted more, sadly she was pathetically in love with the lecher who was currently rubbing her ass…

Everyone backed away from her at the lecher's actions, Rin snatched up Yuji from her before she reacted.

_**SMACK!**_

She was going to neuter him!

* * *

**Sesshomaru and Rin's pups names meanings, in order according to birth:**

**Yuichi- male; means 'heroic first (son)'**

**Tsukiko- female; means 'moon child'**

**Yuji- male; means 'heroic second (son)'**

**Yuikio- male; means 'blessed hero'**

**Yuudai- male; means 'great hero'**

* * *

**Koga and Ayame's cubs names and meanings, in order according to birth:**

**Aki- male (unisex); means 'bright/autumn'**

**Yuki- female (unisex); means 'snow/happiness'**

**Haru- male (unisex); means 'spring (as in the season)'**

**Natsumi- female; means 'beautiful summer'**

* * *

**I Finished! Oh gods that took a long time! Sorry about that but it really was difficult to finish this one with everything that's been happening in my life. I was really tempted to leave it undone but that would've irritated the hell out of me so I finished it!  
**

**A special thanks to NekoxUsa, Lady Shenzuki, Taraah36, littleonna, rijeakyo, Keepitup2319, TwistedHeart-Mind, and KewlFoxyKatt and to all the silent readers of this! Sorry it took so long and it's not the best of works; I will never write another story this...depressing again. Seriously writing this was difficult and trying to make the emotions some what understandable... that too was difficult. But I liked the challenge! Thanks for reading this!**

**Anyways the next installment will be Trying Not to Neuter Him and it will hopefully be posted on Friday. I have to write up the first five chapters of it!**

**That's all folks!**

**Enjoy Trying Not to Murder Him! =)**


	24. The Trying Not to Series Is Complete!

**Dear Reader,**

**The Trying Not to Series is official completed! =)**

**-Blu**


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